14/01/2022
I know we are all dog lovers but it’s always better to ask an owner before touching someone’s dog, same as you wouldn’t randomly touch someone’s child!
NO MEANS NO!
No means I do not consent. It means do not approach me or my dog and do not touch my dog.
Nobody is entitled to touch a dog that is not their own.
If we ask permission to say hello to a dog and we are told, 'no thank you' we are not being insulted, disrespected or rude.
If we are told, 'no thank you' the person saying no is entitled to say no, without reason, justification or explanation.
The person saying no is not being anti social, unreasonable, unfair or mean.
When a person say's no, they are not saying it because they are being selfish or because they have a bad dog or a dog that is naughty. They are saying no because they do not want their dog to be approached or touched by an unfamiliar person.
Why can't we touch a dog we have never met before?
Because we don't know the dog, because the dog may not want to be touched by a stranger, because the owner said no.
Why do we feel we are entitled to touch a dog or use a dog as an experience for a child that also may not want to go near the dog or may be unpredictable and make an inappropriate approach and become insulted or defensive when we are told no?
People that say no have been sworn at, shouted at, laughed at and ignored when having to either stop strangers approaching their dogs or when declining a request.
Dogs are sentient beings, they rely on their humans to be their advocate and to protect them.
It can take time for guardian and dog to devolp a relationship based on trust and confidence.
A dog may be on their first walk out after being adopted or fostered.
They may be recovering from an injury or an incident.
They may be shy, anxious or fearful about touch at that moment in time, the owner may have experienced a trauma or situation and prefer not to have their dog approached.
Some dogs simply prefer not to be touched.
A common response is 'You shouldn't have a dog like that in public' or You shouldn't have a dog like that or you should have that dog PTS.
When we walk our dogs in a quiet space, when we choose a pub table that is away from other people at a quiet time, when we walk out of usual hours or choose to sit on a bench in a public space we do not waive the right for strangers to approach and or try to touch our dogs.
I have the utmost respect for people that are kind and empathetic.
I appreciate people that are able to look at a dog and not approach and not ask if they can touch because they are content to simply observe a dog.
I am grateful to people that have empathy when they see a dog and are happy to walk on by. It's a wonderful exchange, sometimes a kind look, a smile and no attempt to encroach on our space.
When I work with dogs that are lacking in confidence, feel anxious or fearful and we are supporting them to build trust and confidence it is a gift for people to have the grace and generosity to respect and support that dog.
Working with a young, overseas dog recently, we were able to introduce him to a pub garden. We were able to sit in a space where the dog felt comfortable.
Like anything new, our dogs can find it a little challenging but with the support and kindness of all of the staff this dog had a very positive learning experience.
The dog was able to observe the surroundings, take in the scent and look at different people, process the movement and direction of travel of the people and nobody made an inappopriate approach or asked to touch him.
Good planning, effective communication and the right place at the right time ensured it was a successful and positive experience for the dog and the care giver.
So, a huge thank you to every person that doesn't approach an unfamiliar dog, that does ask permission before an approach and isn't offended or abusive when declined.
Kindness costs nothing and can shine a light when things may feel a little dark.
I have reposted this original post which is my own work. I like the illustration I found and appreciate the feedback ref crediting Lili Chin which I did do. I believe there has been some confusion about the author of the above post which is me.
I was unable to delete the illustration so I deleted the whole post and have reposted as it is such a popular post.
Thank you to everone that shared and contributed. It is never my intention to pass off anyone else's work as my own or to not credit others. I regularly share other professionals posts on my page.
I think, by deleting the previous post the shares and contributions have also disappeared.
I appreciate the time people take to read my posts and share experiences.
Thank you and I have posted one of my own pictures to prevent any further or potential concerns.
Please feel free to share more of your experiences and contributions.
Love and light.
