Duchess of Pay

06/11/2022

6 years in the wilderness - Readers I was cancelled.

Standing up for the gingers meant my commentary was suspended, and opportunities for political activism removed. UNIP in the words of a mermaid and plagiarising princess “Lost its Voice”.

Over the last 6 years there has been so much to growl about in the political firmament.
(1) 2016 The Ruff-erendum, seriously Ruff. Such bad behaviour on both sides.
(2) Cameron bowed out with his tail between his legs. The man who provided Larry the Cat to Downing Street. A cat that had its teeth removed at public expense.
(3) 2018 There was a ginger royal wedding but their actual dog was kept out of the pictures. Says a lot, and look what the tinkers have done since. Not exactly model leadership behaviour. Beagles as I have said before are not the brightest and have a tendency to run around in their own pack bubble. Helllllooo Montecito.
(4) Theresa May played with a collie once, you may have missed it.
(5) Then Boris came on the scene with that complete imbecile Dilyn. What were they thinking putting an undisciplined unkempt, easily distracted monster in the seat of power to uphold democratic values? And I was talking about the dog. Jack Russells are the most repellent of terriers. There is no way they are capable of embracing UNIP values.
(6) Larry the Cat didn’t like Liz Truss, not sure if that was political or just frustration.

I was just too distraught to provide commentary.
BUT - there is a flicker of light on the horizon – with a ginger Fox Red Labrador “Nova” installed in Number 10 now features on photocalls. https://www.tatler.com/article/prime-minister-rishi-sunaks-labrador-nova-is-top-dog-at-downing-street

Weve been in discussions via Doggernet about UNIP - its early days.

Nova the Red Fox Lab has had her first photocall since moving into No.10

09/11/2016

Many of my supporters have asked why UNIP has been so silent on the election events to the west. Armchair commenting on another country's politics is a touch inappropriate, and there has been far far too much completely inappropriate comment on social media. For instance - could someone PLEASE tell me what is wrong with ginger hair, and why it should be a measure of leadership ability?

In UNIP our challenge to activate the 8 million dogs in the UK before attempting to become internationalists and influence the 80 million in the US. Ultimately we should be challenging the political system that makes elections binary. The successful presidential candidate has no dogs, while the unsuccessful one has poodle-crosses who get taken for walks in Manhattan. Did Americans have a real choice?

But there is a EUREKA moment for UNIP in all this furore. I have found a new channel for spreading our manifesto based on the age old principle of “follow the money”. Advertisers stay close to voters’ hearts in order to stay close to their wallets, and voters in the main love dogs. Ergo retail marketers will spread the message for us! https://youtu.be/tQk3lF2ljxc Brilliant. Who needs election strategists.

22/06/2016

In or Out? Just cant decide. .... The weather's been too changeable, and who trusts forecasters?

14/05/2016

My new campaign has started. One must give back to the community despite the prevalence of cats, foxes, squirrels and humans that don't immediately adore me.
I have resolved to initiate an anti-litter campaign. Phase I will be "clean up the Medina", If you pardon the pun.... here is a press photo of me at the launch event yesterday evening.

14/05/2016

16/03/2016

I do LOVE to multi-task. Today we have combined an IOW UNIP motivational rally with a spot of house hunting. The Rally was a bit shambolic ... we seem to still lack ideological unity - but frankly .. its difficult engaging with Spaniels Union. They do YAP so about what they want without intelligent or long term solutions to any of the pressing problems of our day.

On the House Hunting front Osborne House is definitely more my style than Carisbrooke Castle, not least because the previous owner was a Queen. While I wont lend my support to girl power (Miley and Madonna ... shudder shudder shudder twitch) there is a lot to be said for balanced, consultative, diplomatic and infinitely more attractive leaders with the XX Chromosomes.

14/03/2016

I've been reviewing the situation at Station House and the lack of progress on my Room (lets call it a Think Tank rather than Throne Room ... for the politically sensitive).

Frankly - More Grandeur is needed. AND Ive found the VERY PLACE. Carisbrooke Castle. Hardly used, badly maintained but large enough that The Staff will be out of earshot.

As expected the idea of change did not go down well. The Staff kept whiffling on about The Budget and The National Trust not being listed on Rightmove.

However: there is one important consideration in these inflamatory times: Security. and Carisbrooke has been breached by drones.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7qo1pS-j3Y

I've been in discussion with the Kosovo massive (led by Albert who has stepped in to replace Guy as my head of security) and they think the perimeters are too extensive for safety. We did a trial run on escape routes in Firestone Copse today, resulting in a troubling incident with a giant poodle. Luckily Albert stepped in, so all is well.

23/02/2016

The First campaign tour ... Well I have to say, though exhausting my first road tour was a HOWLING success.
Over the course of 6 days we covered 1000 miles with multiple opportunities to meet supporters and engage in debate.

I visited Guy in his retirement home. Sadly it has been necessary to stand him down as head of security for UNIP, on the basis that he can’t really stand. But … he has a good carer.

From Essex we went to Norfolk and then the frozen north. Disappointingly the short bossy one refused my request to stop in Rotherham and bite a few councillors.

I walked the walls of Berwick-on-Tweed several times to meet the borderline scots. A trip inland to Galashiels converted a few of the more enlightened canines to my bigger picture politics.

I was truly delighted to get back to our moderate climate and constituency here on the IOW, although I shall be barking at someone in Blightlink about the ferry delays.

07/02/2016

I'm FREE.
Finally, after 4 weeks under house arrest The Junta (formerly know as “The Staff”) have relented after a ridiculous 30 days in isolation for "medical reasons". However did Aung San Suu Kyi cope? No matter, I destroyed a few superfluous stuffed toys with irritating squeaks, practiced my huffing (a particularly powerful communication technique) and slept a lot.

We are back on an invigorated UNIP campaign programme. I took part in a rally this afternoon with the IOW chapter - (more of a paragraph really - Must must must get a new membership manager after last years election debacle). I am pleased to announce the staff/junta are preparing my battle bus for a North Island Tour next week – more news from the road!

04/01/2016

Greetings and Happy New Year. The staff are busy planning changes to Pay Station so I have specifically requested that the throne room is remodelled - the decor is not to my taste.
Alas the year has begun with rebellion in the ranks. I've been told that as leader of a political party, a throne room is completely inappropriate, and they banned its use in my Christmas Card to the party faithful. But as ever I have the last word - social media is so empowering! A very prosperous 2016 to you all!

10/11/2015

Advisors tell me a campaign bus is needed to reinvigorate my political career. Do you think this option is too 1990s? More importantly - there already is a Posh Spice and a Ginger Spice. The Staff have advised that "Full Body Hair Spice" doesn't quite trip off the tongue. (Who gave them the funny pills this morning.)