22/08/2026
Dog doesn’t want a stranger touching them: “Needs socialisation.”
Human doesn’t want a stranger touching them: “Reasonable boundary.”
Dog doesn’t like every dog they meet: “Not friendly.”
Human dislikes approximately 74% of the people they meet: “Good judge of character.”
Dog barks because someone unexpectedly walks into their house: “Territorial.”
Human hears a noise downstairs at 2am: Turns on every light in the house and investigates while holding an object that was absolutely not designed for self-defence.
Dog gets overwhelmed at a busy café full of people, children, dogs, food and noise:
“He needs to learn how to behave.”
Human gets overwhelmed in IKEA on a Saturday: Completely understandable. Possibly grounds for medical leave.
Dog growls when uncomfortable: “Dominant.”
Human says “DON’T TOUCH ME”: Clear communication. Boundary successfully established.
Dog has one bad interaction and remembers that type of dog forever: “Reactive.”
Human has one bad experience with a cat: Hates all cats forever.
Dog loses their mind because the postman comes every single day and somehow STILL refuses to learn his lesson: “Problem barking.”
Human watches the same neighbour park slightly over the line every day: Has been documenting it photographically since March and is “just keeping a record.”
Dog doesn't immediately come when called because they're halfway through smelling something interesting: “Stubborn. Knows exactly what he's doing.”
Human hears their name being called from another room: Remains completely silent in the hope that whoever it is will solve the problem themselves.
Dog gets nervous at the vet after previously having something unpleasant done there: “He knows there's nothing to be scared of.”
Human has one uncomfortable dental procedure in 2009: Hasn't been back since.
Sometimes dogs aren't the weird ones
