11/08/2019
Adopted October 2010 Aged 8 months RSPCA Brighton, England - Died 8:52am Saturday 4th August 2019 Kenmore, Scotland.
Jack never gave up. On his last full day, he chased deer through the woods, walked up a beautiful hillside, enjoyed waterfalls and spotted a red squirrel. When on the lead, sometimes to protect the four legged clouds, he pulled with excitement, and for the first time in his life, admittedly, we permitted it. We enjoyed those moments; that feeling of his spirit and strength. He had, as dogs do, something of the divine. Dogs, given they are better people than most people, bring you closer to meaning and being human. Jack reminded us that it was the simple things that mattered most. The ever present joy of the day, come rain or shine, ball or stick, local walk or all day ramble; these moments were the most precious, enjoyable and mattered. With that, and our health, we had all that was needed.
Jack never held a grudge. He didn’t need to because he was such a sweet boy nor did he really need telling off. Obedient, keen to help, work, assist, please, learn, try, grow, adventure and have fun. He was kind, gentle, generous and strong. He would charge through brambles to retrieve a ball but would be equally playful and loving. Jack ventured to go where we went and was always ready to do so. He did not tire, even with the cancer it was only relative, and it never altered his temperament towards others. His vibrant, intuitive, adventurous character shone through. He could look at us directly in the eyes and we knew he understood more than you may expect. We are as guilty of personification and projection as the next fanatical dog owners but it is clear to us that we had a strong bond.
Jack has left a huge gaping hole in our lives and our hearts are broken. It’s not possible to write in shorthand and express the vast magnitude of stories and memories created together, from darting back some distance to the car in heavy rain, making it to the summit of a mountain or hill, to countless walks. On occasion needlessly s**t to be frank to which he would look at us, “I didn’t mind it, got a p*e in but it was a bit.... s**t” which would prompt us to walk with him again somewhere else. It was never a chore, a task or a thing to be done because it had to be and it was always fun. He was the best company. We loved Jack unashamedly from the moment we adopted him with tear filled eyes to the moment he fell asleep for the last time beside us on a grass bank at Loch Tay in Scotland.
Jack would take in his environment, look out over it in a regal manner when resting, whether it be ocean or countryside. He would remember the places too - the details - and especially, even after days or longer, where we hid the balls which his best friend Maggie had found. The sp*ed at which he would learn new things, the excitement we could see in him when he experienced new places and fun he had was encouragement to venture with him all over and we did. His life was rooted in the outdoors, playing with Maggie, his other dog friends and meeting new ones. He taught our Brazilian mum that dogs were not “Fedido” (stinky) and our dad, coming as he does from a big city Sao Paulo, where it’s not possible, the joys of time in the countryside with a dog. He taught our British mum who is fearful after an experience in childhood, that dogs are not scary and convinced dad, comprehensively and unequivocally, that adopting a dog was a great idea.
The expression, “to own a dog,” didn’t apply with Jack. He was not owned. He was not our property - he was a gift of joy each day. Jack had as far as we were concerned, and essentially for all intents and purposes, legal personality. Thus he was equal, another person in our family, he just didn’t hold the driving license. Dogs are not, it turns out, permitted to drive. With the enthusiasm his force of character engineered, we started a pet shop, built a factory and created a brand which bears his name. This made grieving, which we saved for afterwards, all the more difficult as in our minds he was at the core of that. His and Maggie’s factory. We had never thought it possible to feel so unmotivated and motivated at the same time. It’s a challenging adjustment and the support we have been shown, and mindful for the loss others in similar circumstances, has been drawn upon to help process it.
It is such a privilege to share our lives with dogs and enjoy the unconditional love and joy that they gift us. It has definitely intensified the sense of loss but also the meaning to his life now Jack is no longer with us. We had determined, after a very difficult few days dealing with the sudden and traumatic news of his hemangiosarcoma, that we would not be sad in front of him. He didn’t know that he had a serious illness and did not deserve us moping around in front of him, sat on the sofa, projecting onto him our sadness whilst waiting for some inevitable day. In the garden of the Referral vets having collected him we resolved that it was not good enough and quickly set about making plans for Jack. It was right for him to live his life to the fullest till the very end on adventures with his family, knowing only of joy, love and excitement.
On Jack’s last full day he woke up snuggled between us, chest up for tickles. We had parked up next to the beach at Kenmore so he had a dip and drink from Loch Tay with Maggie. He then went for a circular walk up the hill and along towards the Falls of Acharn. On the way we passed through an area with deer and Jack chased off into the undergrowth and trees beyond. After coming back down the hill via the waterfalls we headed to the Paper Boat cafe to meet with his friend Archie and his loving pet parents. Following the rest at the cafe he spent time at another beach having a little swim with us in the cold waters and we later stayed at a campsite nearby. His symptoms had worsened during the week. Namely, it was becoming more difficult for him to go to the toilet and his condition quickly deteriorated during Friday night.
It has been a challenging week following Jack’s crossing last Saturday. You try to do your best because your best is all that you can do. We were reminded of that by superb vets, friends, neighbours and others. The mind questions every choice made in the attempt to do right by the animals and people we love. There is an effort to remember the good times whilst coming to terms with the loss. Our neighbour Phil said it is important to give yourself time. It’s not easy to even look at photographs. When people have shared their grief and opened up, notably often at a painful expense, in an attempt to assist us, we have felt overwhelming admiration. We should not go without saying that the generosity of spirit shown in comments and messages are most gratefully received. It was wonderful and kind.
It feels fortunate that in addition to his recent adventure, Jack had spent a fantastic Easter holiday in the Lake District and had also been to the Brecon Beacons. We have probably been giving Maggie too much attention and perhaps she feels embarrassed by all the love. She does not appear to be affected by the change. Maggie only tends to have one oar in the water though, which on this occasion offers up a certain degree of reassurance. The elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor thankfully. My apologies for delaying this update. We have received a lot of questions regarding Jack. There were failed attempts during the week to update the status because it was quite an emotional time.
We will share some more photos from Jack’s last few days in which he searched for an infamous monster and discovered it standing right next to him, had a stare down with a real cat, had a stare down with a fake cat and spotted the aforementioned red squirrel 🐿
For now we’ll place this simple photo which is from around the time he chased through the woods after the deer. He was still so fit, strong and shiny in spite of the c-word.
Christopher
