04/10/2026
It’s been a week of firsts.
Disquieting firsts that made me stop and remember those joyful ones from when you first arrived.
Backwards firsts, where your vital presence slowly rolled back to reveal a stagnant emptiness.
Firsts that made me feel as though someone was pulling at the thread of my composition, removing the weft from the warp of my very being.
Firsts that left me realising how incomplete I now am without you.
There will be more, I won’t fight them. They’ll just be less wounding because I’m learning to absorb and adapt. To see how missing you so deeply is just an illustration of my love for you.
You k**b.