03/09/2026
Everything you know is a rendering of your reality. The same way we can see, feel, hear, touch and smell in our dreams, with senses that are asleep. We see with closed eyes. We believe our renderings are fact, but what is real?
We understand our world, relationships, and encounters in the same way- with eyes, ears, and noses that can be easily deceived by our imagined dreams. Our eyes and brains actually back-edit our seen world, removing the smears of vision known as saccadic masking. Our brains suspend visual input before and after movement, editing what we see and making us technically blind for fractions of a second, dozens of times every minute. We are visually asleep, edited by our own brains on how we see the world, known as chromostasis, a temporal illusion.
So in our dreams we render with imagination through false imaging, and in reality we render our situation by trusting a brain that edits and creates illusions.
Yet we believe we see the truth of things....
What is the reality and what is the dream?
Every time we access memories, we open a rendering and make it more unstable. It is never the original; it changes, moves, shifts. The same with remembered conversations and events. In the retelling, the remembered rendering changes, details forgotten and added- remembered as real. So far from the original that it becomes unrecognisable.
It is so necessary to surround ourselves with good-hearted, kind people. Whose renderings have pure intentions. If you are the sort that looks for negative and has a destructive bent to your nature, then your rendering will be as such; your retelling becomes your lived reality. You will surround yourself with, and be drawn to, others who look and feed your renderings and natures with negativity. Believing yourselves, actually experiencing what you believe to be truth. It doesn't matter what the original was; that has been lost in the reiterations- the retelling becomes the accepted truth. If your nature contains spite and jealousy and you are a character that adds sauce to the retelling, then the narrative sways so far and fast that it becomes a totally altered shift from what occurred.
What few people discuss or maybe think about- our collective renderings have power—that which we can feel, experience and has an effect on our lived experience. If you want to render an image of someone, something, you can, just as in your dreams, and that can have absolutely no connection with the original character or truth. Like attracts like; look at how you speak, view, and gossip about the people and situations around you, how you react to other humans and events. We all render colours, speech, smells differently; everything alters. Yet so many believe they hold absolute truth, or understand absolutely, when they are just victims of their own renderings, or easily swayed by narrative skewed by another's rendering.
One aspect of rendering that so few spend time considering is this: each person has a different rendering of you, how they see you in the world. Now if that person is unimportant to oneself or spiteful, that is no loss. But what if it's a loved human or animal? That view is unique, and when they go, that rendering of you is gone forever, an aspect of grief so overlooked. The reality of you in their world has gone.
Lonely. That is it in a nutshell.
So if we can't really believe completely in our own senses, our rendering equipment, that which can fool us in our own dreams, so much so that we could be dreaming when we feel awake.
What do we do?
Where are we anchored?
Where is our north star, what leads us homeward?
We are creatures bound to error, living inside dreams of our own making and passing judgements so quickly and easily on others, all based on our own skewed renderings. Our senses are so limited compared to other earthlings. Yet many of us believe we are so powerful and dominant.
Here, our family shrink away from this. We curl into our own little world, surrounded by animals and loving humans. We do this by choice and for a specific reason. We always tread a path homebound, searching for the kernel of truth and comfort in a worldly rendering that is unstable and can be deceptive. We walk away from humans that splash about and savour negativity; they are so far from that which matters and willingly subject themselves to another unattractive path. We have firm boundaries for this reason; we protect our peace however we see fit.
So, as I sat in the twixt light, still pitch black, where stars lay in full glory, my rendering showed me this view of a darling friend rendering me. One that I have had to overcome significant fear to be around- Willow. How she does view me, I will never understand. But she whickered and nuzzled close to my head. Puffing horsey breaths of hay, sunshine and earth into my senses and filling my loneliness with her. While we both looked to her mum, with different eyes, taking in her aged silhouette.
How heartbreaking it will be when Leya's rendering of the Land Ark, her daughter Willow, her humans, leaves the world. Taking parts of us with her forever. Never to be seen again through her mechanism.
How heartbreaking it will be if the renderings you all have of this sanctuary are forgotten with time, when our doors close. When there is no original and reliable input. How will your renderings reflect our true natures and intent? How will your memory morph and retell- how will it show your character and how you filter life? Will you be drawn to nurture, love and kindness or will you be drawn towards another path?
With love.
