18/05/2026
Please I need someone to help me get through this I feel immense guilt and I feel so sick with guilt and pain. I gave my 15 year old boy flea and tick medicine bc he was itchy I thought he may have eggs or fleas, which I NEVER have given it to him before in his life because he is an inside kitty his whole life but I thought whay could be the harm?! I gave him pet armor in between his shoulder blades a few days ago and shortly after I noticed he was licking this spot on his back BALD. But it was much lower than where I put the medicine so I thought it couldnt be the medicine?? So I was spraying anti itch spray on it to try to help. Yesterday morning I noticed he was suddenly super skinny, but eating normal and acting normal. Then tonight he was seizing and stopped breathing!! I rushed him to the emergency vet tonight and they said he couldnt breathe but he had a heart beat but they lost him. Im so confused and shocked and sick with guilt and pain. The only other medical issues he had was the occasional uti so I had to have him on special food and within the last 6 months his kidneys went almost into failure twice so he had to be on an IV drip. Idk if it was his time suddenly or the flea medicine just exacerbated his kidney problems and his organs shut down.
I go from screaming to crying to staring off into space in shock. For the last 13 years of my life I got to hear his purrs and trills and he was the sweetest lovey boy EVER!!! WHY did this happen!!! What did I do to deserve this!!! I was just trying to help my kitty!!!!! How do I cope!!!! Im sick with shock and guilt and trauma!!! I probably have thousands of photos of him i cant even look at without getting sick. Please someone help me!!! Im so angry!!! He was so sweet he loved laying on my head and playing with my hair!!! I feel like the worst mom all i ever did was spoil him!!