Nurtured Postpartum

10/13/2026

**CW: PREGNANCY LOSS**

For 13 weeks, I began to make plans and dream about who my baby would be. I could picture her sweet smile as she cooed and giggled in my arms. I saw her as a kid coming to me for a hug with scraped knees and a dirty face. I saw her as a teenager slamming her door, mad at me for something or other. I pictured her graduating from high school. I pictured her holding her own sweet baby, the circle complete.

When those dreams and plans and hopes were destroyed, it was devastating. My heart broke. I still grieve for what might have been, even though I now have four other living, amazing children. No matter that she was so small, she will always be one of my children as well.

During and after my miscarriage, I found that many people didn’t know what to say or do. And I felt entirely alone.

The grief from pregnancy and infant loss are very much misunderstood in society. And of course it is. For so long, we've hidden pregnancy and infant loss away, keeping that grief to ourselves. When I lost my baby, it was very taboo to speak about it. And yet, all I wanted to do was to talk about it.

So many people do not know how to respond in these conversations. They say things like "it wasn't meant to be" or "you're young, you can have another baby" or "it was for the best." And, frankly, those things would just rip open the grief yet again. If you haven't gone through it, it's hard to know what to say or do.

And that's why I offer pregnancy loss and bereavement support. I never want someone going through pregnancy and infant loss to go through it alone. No matter the reason, no matter what stage of pregnancy. I provide support for all types of pregnancy and infant loss, whether naturally occurring, induction, cesarean section, D&C, D&E, or abortion/termination. You're not alone.

If this is something you need, please DM me. I am here for you. You do not have to go through it all alone. If you love someone going through pregnancy or infant loss, I have created an incredible resource for you to help your loved one. Comment below and I'll send you the link.

10/09/2026

Sometimes there is joy in the darkness.

This photo by Jen McLeod Photography | Tofino Photographer shows a moment of true joy. I remember laughing trying to get this newly turned 1 year old to smash the cake I worked so hard on. And yet, it does not show the dark at that time of my life that clouded over me. The dark that settled once I got in my car with my 2 little loves and drove home. Most pictures of this time don't show that dark cloud. You might never know unless I told you. Even those around me didn't truly realize how much I was struggling. Only when it started to leak out in small spurts did my closest friends notice something was wrong.

You never know what a person is hiding. What sits behind that smile and "I'm ok."

I know I am not the only one who hides behind smiles and laughter. Who focused on being "super mom" so that nobody would know how much pain I was in. Who hid it all away so that nobody would know the dark, unwanted thoughts that ran through my mind on repeat.

People used to ask how I did it all, and I responded by saying "I don't know, I just do it." I should have responded by saying that it only looked that way and that I was dying inside. I tell them the truth now when I'm asked. I no longer brush it off. And yes, sometimes that means people are taken aback by my honesty but if you don't truly want to know, don't ask.

So, this is a reminder with World Mental Health Day this weekend to check in on your friends and their hearts. To really check in and don't just accept their "I'm ok." Even with your strong friends, the ones you think have it all together. What looks strong on the outside may in truth be crumbling inside.

And if you're hiding it all away, please know that you are not alone. You are far from alone. You matter. You are loved. I love you.

10/05/2026

Saturday was the Butterfly Run. It was magical. Over 150 people showed up to help bring more services to families going through pregnancy and infant loss to the West Kootenays. Some carrying fresh grief. Some carrying grief that they've carried for a long time. Some there to support those carrying that heavy grief. There was laughter and joy, tears and hugs.

Most of all, there was support and a feeling of being held. And considering there were folks there from throughout the West Kootenays, that's pretty incredible.

I'm not quiet about my own loss. It's been 17 years, and it still can bring me to my knees at times. The words said to me throughout my loss have stuck with me. The one medical student who asked me if I'd somehow hit my belly. The doctor who called it a spontaneous abortion. The other patient at the ER who was there for an overdose and yelled loudly to everyone that nothing was wrong with my and I was faking it (all while I was bleeding and puking from pain). The priest who we did not ask for that tried to tell us it was for the best. They all cut like a knife. But it wasn't all bad. The ultrasound technician was so kind and gentle. The doctor at the ER was compassionate. My own doctor when I went to see her days later gave me a hug, told me she was so sorry, and held me as I cried before anything else.

I say this all to remind everyone that the way we treat people in grief matters. We may not understand it. We may not know what to say or have any answers. And that's okay. We don't have to. Sometimes presence is the biggest gift you can give someone in grief.

Thank you Butterfly Run Trail. Thank you for your time, energy, and love that you poured into this year's event.

09/30/2026

CW: PREGNANCY & INFANT LOSS.

𝐎𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐀𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐌𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡.

And as those of you who have experienced loss know, grief doesn't wait for a specified date or month on the calendar to show up. It just shows up. Sometimes it hides away for days, weeks, months, or even so long that you think it is gone. But one thing is for sure, it will always show its face again.

Those who have not experienced pregnancy or infant loss will not understand the grief and pain that accompanies it. How it comes out of nowhere 10 years later and still brings you to your knees. How the joy in future pregnancies can be dulled as you anxiously second guess every twinge and cramp. How it feels so completely overwhelming when you sit with empty arms in the rocking chair you had bought to rock your sweet baby in. How your heart squeezes every single time you see a pregnant belly or pregnancy announcement. How so many others expect you to just "get over it" after.

1 in 4 pregnancies will end in loss.

𝟭 𝗶𝗻 𝟰.

And that is 1 in 4 pregnancies. Not 1 in 4 people.

That is a huge number of people living with the grief that pregnancy loss brings. Many living with the grief of multiple losses. And yet, it seems it's still a taboo thing to talk about.

𝗜 𝗮𝗺 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝟭 𝗶𝗻 𝟰.

Are you?

I see you. I see your pain. You are not alone.

In 2019, I worked hard through my own grief as I completed my Pregnancy and Infant Loss (PAIL) Advocate certification. It was hard. I found my heart aching as I wished that I had had the support I was learning about. But I did it, and now I stand here today to offer that support.

Please reach out if you or someone you know needs some support going through pregnancy or infant loss. I can't lessen the grief, but I can sit beside you and help walk you through it. I offer this by donation, and there is no expectation of a donation to access it.

Is someone you love going through perinatal loss? Check out my brand new, free resource. I created this workbook for everyone who wishes they knew what to do when someone they love is grieving: nurturedpostpartum.ca/resources/

09/09/2026

Excuse me for a minute while I delve into a personal story. Yes, I know I haven't been on here regularly, and I'm sorry. I've been doing life lately.

Yesterday, I dropped my kids off at school for their first day. 3 different schools, again. One has moved to a new program at his sibling's school. After dropping the 3 youngest off in one direction, I picked up my eldest and dropped him off too. He could have walked. He had planned to walk. But when I realized I'd have time, I offered. And I'm so glad I did.

Every first day always hits the heart a little, but I hadn't expected this one to hit it as much as it did when I dropped my last baby off for her first day of kindergarten. I dropped him off, watched him walk into school, and realized that being in grade 11, that might be the last first day I do that. And I cried. Had to pull over because I couldn't see through my tears. Then went for a walk with a friend and cried some more.

I still picture that young man as the little toddler with Justin Bieber hair and the cutest little voice who came into my life and blew up everything I thought I knew.

When they tell you the days are long, but the years are short, they are not lying.

08/27/2026

08/20/2026

Heads up! Updated availability incoming!!

It is never too early to book your postpartum support. Whether you're busy making birth plans, planning your baby's room, or you've just peed on the stick, don't forget about the postpartum time. A postpartum doula can be the support you need to make it a little bit easier. Whether you need someone to answer your questions so you don't head down the Google rabbit hole, someone to share your confusing feelings with, or someone to help you figure out how the heck to actually do all the things you need to do, a postpartum doula is your ticket to a more supported postpartum. Oh, and spoiler alert: you can't actually do all the things because you're only one human. But adding a postpartum doula to your support team adds you an extra human (who is also pretty damn skilled at doing all the baby and postpartum stuff).

07/31/2026

August 1-7 is World Lactation/Breastfeeding/Bodyfeeding Week. And before I say or share anything else, I need to say a few things.

There can be a lot of stress around feeding your baby. But know this: however you feed your baby is right for you and your baby. We all know the biological benefits of human milk, and truly, they're incredible. Sometimes I want to shout from the rooftops about them! But they're not all we have to think about when deciding what's best for our families, and lactation is not necessarily the best choice (or a choice at all) for everyone.

So, for those parents who work so hard to make breastfeeding/chestfeeding work for them - you're doing a good job.

For those parents who pump and bottle feed, whether it's truly a choice or not - you're doing a good job.

For those parents who breastfeed/chestfeed for one day/one feed/one week/one month and switch to formula milk - you're doing a good job.

For those parents who feed donated human milk - you're doing a good job.

For those parents who feed formula milk right from birth (for any reason) - you're doing a good job.

For those who feed both human milk and formula milk - you're doing a good job.

For those who cannot or do not want to breastfeed/chestfeed (for whatever reason) - you're doing a good job.

No matter how you feed your baby, you are doing a good job.

(This photo is me nursing my youngest, 3 months shy of her 5th birthday.)