05/17/2026
“I wish my horse could just talk to me”
A phrase I hear over and over, by the same people that won’t lunge their horse without side reins, only use cross ties, and won’t ride walk trot canter on a loose rein. And this is not specific to any one discipline of riding, but more often than not indicative of the owners confidence or lack of, in handling and communicating with a horse that have a voice.
Now I fully get there is a time and place for most everything. Being a trainer of every type of horse with every history and background, sometimes tools can be very beneficial in helping to convince a horse of things. The more we put the horses mind intentionally into their feet and body, the more they can explore their own feelings and shortcoming and actually be able to tell us exactly what’s wrong. Tools and techniques applied to their head, face and mouth, only make it impossible for the horse to be mindful about its body.
If you’re dealing with a horse that is still using the reactive side of their brain, they themselves don’t even know what or where the problem is. They are programmed to feel it as vulnerability and to mask it at all costs.
The first thing I do when I get a horse in for diagnosing and rehab I take it all away.
-Cross ties to ground tying
-Mindless forward drive to thoughtful footwork using ground poles, obstacles, ropes around their feet, hoolahoops, tarps and anything i can think off.
-backing in and around ground obstacles
-reins thrown away in the walk trot and canter.
When we start to allow horses to feel themselves they can tell us exactly what’s wrong.
Again, depending on what part of each journey you were to watch, things can look pretty messy. But this is how the conversation starts to peel back layers and voices on both sides are created while being sure to establish good respectful boundaries.
This is NOT the GENTLE horsemanship that seems to be mirroring the same epidemic we are facing in the world with the GENTLE parenting, leading to a societal collapse.
Respect, clear boundaries and consistency also very strong building blocks of a true communication for horses. If you are not a leader, you will not make them feel safe, and you will never even be able to get them to feel the things themselves, leave alone have their brain quiet enough to communicate their needs to you. So yes, likely a lot of the conversations at the start look a lot like screaming, but often the screams are an indication of vulnerability walls coming down. Trust the process as in all great things don’t start great. In fact I often feel the loudest responses are from horses that are terrified of their own freedom. You need to balance the freedom, with respect, healthy boundaries, and trust. This is when the conversation gets deep and you will be taken to highs you never thought possible in ways you never dreamt.
What better thing to do, than evaluations on a snowy May Sunday. 🤪
