08/21/2026
Do you sleep with your dog?
Don’t get me wrong. I love a good cuddle session. And I totally recommend it, sparingly.
With dog ownership, it’s all about finding that balance.
Finding that perfect mixture between love and leadership.
Sometimes we lean too heavily on love, and that throws the balance off.
For instance, I had just separated from my ex-husband and had bought a place on my own- in the middle of the woods with no cell phone reception.
It was Onyx and I against the world; he was my coworker by day, and at night I had started letting him sleep with me. He is a very neutral soul and had no behaviour issues.
If a dog has behaviour issues, I am highly against letting the dog sleep with the owner.
Obtaining respect from your dog is the number one objective with behaviour modification, and it’s really hard to get that message across if you’re always allowing them up on the throne (bed) with you.
Higher ground, such as couches, beds, or chairs, can affect a dog psychologically. Unlimited higher ground can mean power in a dog's eyes, but if you have an insecure dog that now thinks it has power, you have an insecure dog trying to lead, and that forms a lot of anxiety for the dog.
If a dog is balanced, invited higher ground can happen.
Going back to Onyx and I, for the first couple nights of sleeping together I enjoyed the warmth and the cuddles from him, but as the days went on, he started following me around the house more, whining and becoming a tad bit demanding.
Fast forward two weeks- he was having full-blown panic attacks when I left the house; I could hear him howling & barking as I drove down the driveway, heartbreaking.
We (I) set the balance off. He was already spending all day with me and then I was allowing him to sleep with me at night. He lost his independence and became dependent on me.
As a dog trainer, I knew exactly what I did to him.
I used my selfishness of needing comfort when I knew it would impact our relationship.
We had a relationship reset and started crating (outside the bedroom) at night and within three weeks he went back to his balanced, neutral sweet self.
With dog ownership, sometimes we have to think about what the dog needs versus what we need.

