Coal Lake Stables

10/09/2026

20 Ways to Ruin Your Horse, According to Someone on the Internet🍿
A comprehensive guide to being wrong about absolutely everything.

I recently asked horse people to share some of the conflicting advice they've received about caring for, managing and training their horses.

And holy moly, what a magnificent collection of mutually exclusive certainties we've accumulated.🤯

It turns out that almost everything you do with a horse is wrong. Not just mildly wrong, either. We're talking morally reprehensible, scientifically indefensible, spiritually bankrupt and quite possibly a violation of the Geneva Convention.😱

The really impressive part is that the person telling you you're wrong is invariably absolutely certain they're right.

So, in the interests of fairness, inclusivity and offending absolutely everyone equally, I've compiled a collection of 20 ways you can apparently ruin your horse.🔥

How many of these arguments have you encountered?😜

1.Shoes are cruel. Barefoot is cruel. Boots are unnatural. Glue-ons are cheating. Traditional farriers are dinosaurs. Barefoot trimmers are cult members.

2.Treats are scientifically proven training tools. Treats are bribery. Treats create dangerous horses. Treats build trust. Food rewards are essential. Food rewards are manipulative.

3.Bits responses can be well trained into communication. Bits are medieval torture devices. Bitless is ethical. Bitless is dangerous. A snaffle is gentle. A snaffle can be severe.

4.Horses need rugs. Horses don't need rugs. Rugs destroy thermoregulation. Not rugging is neglect. A clipped horse must be rugged. A healthy horse can regulate its own temperature.

5.Unlimited hay is essential. Unlimited hay causes obesity. Restricting hay causes ulcers. Obesity causes laminitis. Horses must eat constantly. Horses must not overeat.

6.Ride into the contact. Never ride into the contact. Contact creates balance. Balance creates contact. The horse must seek the bit. The horse must never feel the bit. Your hands must be soft. Your hands must be effective.

7.Round pens create communication. Round pens are the best place to start a horses training. Round pens create learned helplessness. Sending a horse away establishes leadership. Sending a horse away is emotional abandonment. Turning to face you is respect. Turning to face you is avoidance.

8.Be the leader. Don't be the leader. Be a partner. Be a guardian. Be a friend. Never be a friend. Establish boundaries. Never impose your will. Earn respect. Respect is a human construct.

9.Nosebands. One finger. Two fingers. No fingers. No noseband. Anatomical noseband. Cavesson. Flash. Drop. Loose is kind. Loose is dangerous.

10.Dental tools. Power tools are dangerous. Hand tools are outdated. Sedation is essential. Sedation is unnecessary. Equine dentists are experts. Only veterinarians should touch teeth. Horses survived millions of years without dentists.

11.Start riding at two. Start riding at four. Wait until seven. Early exercise strengthens bones. Early exercise destroys joints. Young horses need work. Young horses need to be left alone.

12.Stabling is cruel. Paddocks are dangerous. Track systems are revolutionary. Dry lots are essential. Small paddocks are prisons. Big paddocks are injury factories. Horses must live in herds. Horses need individual management.

13.Feed magnesium. Feed turmeric. Feed salt. Feed oils. Feed herbs. Feed gut supplements. Feed joint supplements. Don't feed supplements because supplements are unnecessary.

14.Your horse is naughty. Your horse is frightened. Your horse is traumatised. Your horse is testing boundaries. Your horse is expressing its truth. Your horse is reflecting your childhood wounds. Your horse needs a stronger leader. Your horse needs you to regulate your nervous system.

15.Never accept no. Always accept no. Wait for a genuine yes. Let the horse choose. Never force anything. Teach the horse to comply. Honour its autonomy. Respect its boundaries. Get some help to learn to train properly.

16.Chiropractic. Osteopathy. Massage. Acupuncture. Craniosacral therapy. Myofascial release. Masterson. PEMF. Energy healing. Bodywork is essential. Bodywork is a waste of money.

17.Train every day. Train twice a week. Train for five minutes. Train for an hour. Always finish on a good note. It doesn't matter if you finish on a good note. Rest is essential. Consistency is essential. Repetition builds understanding. Repetition creates boredom.

18.Hands wide. Hands narrow. Hands high. Hands low. Inside rein. Outside rein. Never pull. Always maintain contact. Open your rein. Never open your rein.

19.Pressure is communication. Pressure is coercion. Escalating pressure is essential. Escalating pressure is abuse. Rewards create willingness. Rewards create dependency. Never punish. Always correct. Be consistent. Be flexible.

20.Horses need leadership. Horses need connection. Horses need attunement. Horses need autonomy. Horses need boundaries. Horses need freedom. Traditional horsemanship is outdated. Natural horsemanship is unnatural. Science-based training is the answer. Science doesn't understand horses.

AND THE WINNER IS...

Absolutely nobody.

Because whatever you're doing with your horse, there's someone on the internet who is absolutely certain you're doing it wrong.🙄

Of course, some of these disagreements are legitimate, some depend on circumstances, and some are complete bo****ks. The trick is learning to tell the difference.😎

NOW IT'S YOUR TURN!

What's been missed from the list? Add your favourite contradictory horse advice to the comments. Let's see how long we can make this ridiculous list.😆

Collectable Advice 312/365. 🤓

Don't confuse conviction with competence.

One of the most useful things you can learn in about working with horses is that the answer to many questions is "it depends." It depends on the horse, the circumstances, the skills of the person involved and what they're trying to achieve. Terribly inconvenient for anyone selling the one true way.🫣

Of course, that doesn't mean every opinion is equally valid. Sometimes the evidence is clear, and sometimes people are MSUing (ie Making S**t Up).The trick is developing enough knowledge, experience and critical thinking to recognise the difference, rather than outsourcing your judgement to whoever sounds the most confident.✊

IMAGE📸: Most likely a internet expert🙃

09/08/2026

When fear is deemed entertainment, it’s time to question the culture.

09/08/2026

08/31/2026

🐴 Watch episode 1 of the Listening to the horse documentary here: www.listeningtothehorse.com Visit our equestrian bookshop, with lots of educational horse & pony books for all ages: www.elaineheneybooks.com AD

08/31/2026

Earned Leadership - Becoming someone worth following😎

There is a quality that develops between a horse and human that I don't think we talk about enough.

Traditionally, we have called it *leadership*. And actually, leadership is a pretty good word for it. Unfortunately, it has accumulated so much baggage in the horse world that mentioning it can immediately summon arguments about dominance, being The Boss, and who, exactly, should be demanding respect from who...

So after considerable intellectual effort, I have solved this problem by putting another word in front of it.😆

*Earned leadership.*

Groundbreaking, I know.🙄

But the word *earned* matters because it reminds us that leadership isn't something you automatically possess because you own the horse or moved their feet first. It is a quality you have to consciously nurture, both in the horse's willingness to focus and follow you and in your own ability to be someone worth following.🤓

Imagine walking down a dark alley at midnight in the worst part of an unfamiliar city with someone calm, capable and streetwise whose judgement you trust.

You would probably stay close. You would let them make the decisions. If they said, "We're going this way", you'd go that way. Not because they had established dominance over you, but because you trusted their judgement.

And importantly, their confidence would make you feel more confident.

This is known as "trickle down confidence".🫶💪

Now walk down the same alley with someone who was hesitant and whispering, "Did you hear that? Should we run? OH GOD, WHAT WAS THAT?"😱

Same alley. Very different experience.

This is what I mean by earned leadership with a horse.

It develops when your horse learns, through experience, to focus on you, trust your judgement and defer to your decisions when they are uncertain. Instead of immediately feeling they have to take care of everything themselves, they increasingly look to you.

*Are we okay?*

And if you are genuinely okay, that can help them become okay too.

This is different from simply teaching a horse to understand your aids. A horse can know perfectly well what your leg and reins mean in the arena and still decide that your contribution is entirely irrelevant when the wind gets up, their friend disappears or the neighbour starts the lawn mower.😬

➡Understanding you is one thing. Looking to you when they aren't sure what to do is another.

And this quality has to be consciously nurtured.

Annoyingly, quite a lot of that work is on us.😬

We have to become better communicators and decision-makers. We need enough awareness to recognise when the horse is struggling, enough judgement to know when to persist or change the plan, and enough confidence to remain useful when things become difficult.

Because we cannot expect our horse to draw confidence from us if we have none to offer.

Fortunately, confidence is something we can build. It grows from competence. We learn, practise, improve our communication, make good decisions and appropriately challenge ourselves. We discover that we can handle situations that once felt difficult.

And the horse is doing much the same thing.

So you build earned leadership together. You start with clear communication and focus, then gradually stretch it into obstacles, distractions, new environments, wind, other horses leaving and all the perfectly ordinary events horses occasionally interpret as the opening scenes of the apocalypse.😏

But leadership can also be undermined. Become frightened and indecisive and the horse may decide it needs to take care of things itself. Become frustrated, aggressive or relentlessly perfectionistic and *you* become another source of tension.💥

So give yourselves successful experiences.

The horse becomes uncertain. They look to you. You remain calm enough to think. You communicate clearly. You make a good decision. They follow your guidance.

Everything turns out okay.

Then do it again.

You don't become your horse's leader because you own them, control them or declare yourself to be one.

➡You earn it by becoming someone worth following.

Collectable Advice 281/365. Please SHARE as it is this quality that many people are overlooking or self sabotaging themselves by not nurturing it. More details 💬⬇️

07/31/2026

Our Agenda. Yes, I Said Agenda.🔥

⚠️ Warning: This article may burst a few carefully inflated bubbles. Side effects may include mild indignation, bruised egos or outrage. Proceed at your own risk.

One of the more fascinating developments in modern horsemanship is our apparent determination to pretend we don't have an agenda.

Somewhere along the way, "training" became a dirty word. "Influence" started sounding suspiciously authoritarian. "Leadership" was quietly escorted out the back door, and in came a parade of softer, safer phrases like *co-creating*, *holding space*, *finding mutual agreement*, and my personal favourite, *allowing the horse to choose*.

Which is all terribly poetic until you remember that you've just put a halter on him.

Let's be honest for a moment.

This is our agenda.

The horse didn't wake up this morning thinking, "I'd quite like to spend forty minutes improving my ability to yield my shoulders while Shelley explores her personal growth journey."😜

His plans were refreshingly modest. Graze. Avoid death. Find his mates. Scratch his itchy bits on the nearest tree. If fortune smiled upon him, perhaps knock over a water bucket for entertainment.😃

Everything after that is our idea.

And that's not cruel.

It's not oppressive.

It's simply reality.

The strange thing isn't that humans have an agenda. The strange thing is that we've become so uncomfortable admitting it that we've started disguising it in language that sounds like it was written by a mindfulness calendar.

Apparently, we're no longer teaching horses. We're "facilitating discovery."

We're not asking them to step onto a float. We're "creating an invitation into possibility."

We're not applying pressure. We're "opening a dialogue."

Which is remarkable, because the horse still experiences exactly the same physical world regardless of what we've chosen to call it. Renaming gravity doesn't make you float, and renaming training doesn't stop it being training.😎

The irony is that horses are wonderfully free from this particular human affliction.

They don't care about our vocabulary.

They care whether today's experience makes sense.

Whether it is predictable.

Whether it is fair.

Whether they can discover the answer without feeling trapped, overwhelmed, frightened or uncomfortable.

That's it.

The horse couldn't care less whether your social media bio describes you as an ethical facilitator of authentic equine empowerment.

He's wondering whether your signals contradict each other.

When horses become resistant, anxious or inconsistent, I don't immediately assume they're challenging my authority or expressing some deeply symbolic emotional truth. More often than not, I assume I've made my agenda too difficult to understand or we have some physical struggle going on.

That's a much less glamorous explanation.

It also happens to be far more useful.

Because confusion isn't usually a horse problem.

It's a curriculum problem.

If your student keeps failing the lesson, perhaps stop blaming the student and start looking at the lesson plan.🤷‍♀️

Humans, however, are spectacularly talented at doing the opposite. We can spend three hours discussing energy, intention, nervous system regulation, ancestral trauma, lunar cycles and the horse's desire to be heard before reluctantly considering the possibility that perhaps... just perhaps... our timing was dreadful.🧐

It's extraordinary.

We've managed to create an entire industry dedicated to avoiding the obvious.

The beautiful thing about admitting that this is our agenda is that it also means it's our responsibility.

Not our guilt.

Our responsibility.❗️

Because if I designed the lesson, then I can redesign the lesson.

If I created the confusion, I can create clarity instead.

That's empowering.✅

Far more empowering than pretending my horse and I are simply waiting for the universe to reveal whose truth should emerge first.

The horse doesn't need me to pretend we're equal shareholders in today's training session.

He needs me to be competent enough that my agenda is understandable, fair and worth following.

Oddly enough, I think that's a far more respectful relationship.

Take this image, for instance. This horse did not wake up this morning thinking, "I hope my human dresses as an elf, glues a unicorn horn to my forehead, and we recreate Narnia for Instagram today."

You might think it's a fun idea and a fantastic photo to capture, and that's perfectly okay.

But let's not kid ourselves.

That was our agenda.

Collectable Advice 264/365.
If this resonated, or if you think we could all use the occasional reality check, please hit SHARE or SAVE. ❤️

07/29/2026

What Reality Does Your Horse Live In❓

Most people come to me because they want a better relationship with their horse.

Ironically, I don't think better relationships begin with trying to love our horses more. I think they begin by understanding the reality our horses live in.

As humans, we experience the world in many remarkable ways. We learn through our physical experiences, but we also create meaning through language. We think about the past, imagine the future, replay conversations, predict other people's intentions and tell ourselves stories about what everything means.

If a small child takes my hand and starts walking, I don't simply experience the feeling of being pulled. I immediately think, *They want me to follow.*

My understanding comes from much more than the physical experience.

Our horses don't necessarily make that leap.

Their understanding of us is built primarily through the physical experiences we create. They learn what our touch, our reins, our legs, our lead rope, some sounds and our body movements mean because of what repeatedly happens when we use them.

Meaning is created through experience.

I often think about Helen Keller. As a young child, after losing both her sight and hearing, the world made little sense until Anne Sullivan placed one hand under running water while spelling *water* into the other. At that precise moment, the experience and the signal became connected, and the word suddenly had meaning.

Although horses don't learn complex language as we do, our communication with them develops in much the same way. Our signals only become meaningful when they are consistently connected to experiences the horse can understand.

This is why so many kind, caring people accidentally confuse their horses.

They love them deeply.

Yet they absent-mindedly grab the reins, abruptly lift the lead rope, or constantly nag with a flag or whip without realising the experience they are creating. Their horse braces, not because it is stubborn, but because it has learnt that human hands can feel abrupt, inconsistent or uncomfortable.

Most of the time it isn't a lack of kindness.

It is a lack of awareness.

People often talk about being mindful with horses. They describe it as emptying your mind, thinking positive thoughts or projecting calm energy.

I don't think that's what mindfulness is.

To me, being present means becoming aware of what your own body is doing.

Does your touch invite your horse to search for an answer, or does it make them brace?

Are your intentions reflected in your hands?

Are your thoughts matched by your actions?

That awareness sits at the heart of good horsemanship.

Now, before anyone tells me their horse reads their mind, let me say this.

Maybe they can! However, there is also a practical explanation that is important to realise.

The better your relationship becomes, the more it can feel as though your horse responds to a thought before you've consciously done anything. Whether horses truly perceive something deeper about us or whether they are simply astonishingly observant is something I don't think anyone can answer with certainty.

What I do know is that horses notice things we rarely notice in ourselves. They feel tiny changes in our posture, breathing, muscle tone, balance and focus. When we become physically consistent, those subtle changes become meaningful.

Perhaps that is why the best horse people often appear to communicate without effort.

Maybe their horses are responding to something deeper.

Maybe they have simply become experts at reading a person whose thoughts, intentions and actions are completely aligned.

Whatever the answer, one thing seems certain.

Before we can ask a horse to trust our thoughts, we first have to become someone they can trust with our hands, legs, body, emotions and tools.❤

Collectable Advice 262/365. If this resonated please SHARE!