12/11/2022
Every attempt is a win, every try is a learning opportunity.
When our performance is congruent with our identity and values, it’s easy and fun to talk about. But if our score is "low" or maybe we're a top competitor and missed the podium, there can be awkward feelings of shame or embarrassment around it.
Psychologically, shame is the result of a dissonance between your standards and your actions. When it comes to your performance, you feel like you should or could have done better.
It can be helpful to have high standards for yourself— they can motivate you to achieve greatness in your life and sport. But they can be condemning if they push you to feel shame about who you are and the worth of your dog.
Your standards for yourself and your work come from your story. Do you know where? Who was it that told you that you needed to stand on the podium or achieve a certain score? Who is it that has so much power over you? Spend some time identifying those stories and those voices. Doing so will help you take back some of their power.
You’re ok. Own it. Rock what you got. If you have the opportunity to compete, that is a gift. You may not have earned the score you hoped, but you got to do the thing with your best teammate, your dog— and that’s better than what a lot of people have.
Next Time You Feel Ashamed of Your Score or Performance, Remember This…
Everyone is in process. You’re in process. Own it. There’s nothing wrong with it. If you’re not allowed to be in process, then you’ll never accomplish anything worthwhile.
Next time someone asks or watches a performance you imagined would be better, take a deep breath, remember that you’re enough. And then make solid eye contact and tell them, without shame, guilt, or that squirmy-I-can’t-wait-to-change-the-subject feeling. You have nothing to feel ashamed of. You stepped on that field, in the ring, entered that event, and you took a snapshot of a moment of your process. You did it! I'm proud of you
Answer to the picture: Doctor
