09/09/2026
Well life is testing and owning horses in this life makes it even more so.
These animals and this sport have broken my heart and those of many others, many times over as it will continue to do so for the rest of time. It is the price we pay unfortunately to do this sport and care for these animals that we are so greatly drawn to.
My most recent test has come in the form of having to retire my beloved and long term partner Bentley, well before his time.
Earlier this year he sustained a paddock injury, which regardless of our best efforts, led to the end of his athletic career - a very hard pill to swallow indeed.
I am typically a try, try and try again kind of person. If there’s a will there’s a way. There will always be something I haven’t learnt yet and I will put in the effort, wait the time or find the information that will help me fix the problem, (there’s a reason I continued to work with a sway back little thoroughbred trying to make him an event horse 😅).
In this case though, it is not a matter of any of those things. What has been required of me over these past few months is acceptance, resilience to get through it and gratitude for what I was fortunate enough to enjoy with this wonderful horse.
The thing that made Bentley a great event horse, was not his winnings, his breeding or his talent, but his heart, train ability and bravery.
To those who knew him, it was no secret he was not blessed with beautiful or advantageous confirmation, but what he lacked in back muscles 😅 he made up for with many other admirable qualities.
Bentley was bred to be a racehorse, but he was born to be someone’s partner.
He has always been the perfect gentleman, kind natured and a pleasure to work with as well as stoic, committed and always gave his all.
It’s a testament to his temperament that of the many things he found challenging due to his conformation, he would never not try.
Even though I doubted my effort at times, as we all do 😅 I would put in all those years of work all over again if I could and wouldn’t change a thing about him.
There is no greater feeling than a bond built on mutual trust and understanding, developed from thousands of hours getting to know each other which before you know it , turns into an 11 year partnership which feels like home.
I’ve been reflecting a lot over the last few months and if I can provide a bit of advice to others, it would be to choose the horse with the heart. Choose the horse that wants to do it for you and that you enjoy working with. This horse may not be the most talented, the best mover or most able jumper, but be open to the possibility of temperament and train ability getting you further than talent.
Bentley never knew that he wasn’t built for it, that physically he wasn’t able to do things to a great standard, all he knew is that I asked him to try and he was happy to say yes - and that the galloping and jumping part was very fun 😅
Another bit of advice would be to try to enjoy the little things along the way, appreciate and be grateful for your equine partner more in the present moment. You don’t want to look back and wish you appreciated it more when you had it.
I can honestly say that, in the last few years in particular, I never took my wonderful Bentley for granted.
The greatest of motivators are love and service and I am proud to say that, even though competitive and personal goals being a driver of my efforts, in the end, my main motivation to work with this horse everyday, came from pure love and service to care for him and build our partnership. I do truely believe that I committed to making him the very best version of himself and I am proud of myself and all those people who helped me achieve something great with a horse many wouldn’t look twice at.
I didn’t believe our eventing story was ready to end. Of course I had many goals, a list of things a mile long to teach him and of course, I just loved to ride him. But it was not meant to be, and for whatever reason, it was time to close that chapter for us.
I wasn’t prepared to continue in this sport without him quite so soon, but eventually I will find my place at the level again. Just like all of us, we continue for the love of it, the thrill of it, the challenge of it and the heart break of it.
I will care for Bentley for years to come like the king that he is - maybe one day some casual recreational riding can be something we enjoy together 🤗
I carry the utmost gratitude for the places he took me, the experiences he gave me, the lessons he taught me, the successes I was fortunate to have and the unconditional love he brought back to the surface for me, just like a little girl and her pony all over again.
I couldn’t express my gratitude without recognising that I have for our dear late friend and mentor Julie Conti, who gifted him to me all those years ago ❤️
I will dearly miss eventing my perfectly imperfect, biggest heart of any horse, ‘General John’ - how lucky I have been!
