01/09/2026
There are TWO kinds of people at a dog show, and apparently there is NO middle class. š
First, you got THEM.
Their big olā fancy rigs are already sitting on the show grounds, leveled up, slides out, awnings stretched, generators humming, and kennel names professionally lettered down the sides big enough to be seen from the interstate.
They are SET. UP.
Grooming tables lined up. Matching crates. Fans blowing. Extension cords organized. Coolers full. Coffee brewing.
Probably got satellite TV, Wi-Fi, a washer and dryer and a small mortgage payment sitting on six tires.
Their setup looks like NASCAR met Westminster and opened a gated community.
Then you gotā¦
THE REST OF US.
Weāre 20ks down the road at the $60-a-night Motel Sweet Baby Jesus Please Donāt Let Anyone Steal My Car.
Iām sitting cross-legged on a dog blanket and Iām trying VERY hard not to inspect the bed linen , whilst eating baked beans STRAIGHT OUT THE CAN and washing them down with a $10 bottle of chardy because after paying entries and buying petrol, using a plate feels financially irresponsible.
The mini bar fridge contains dog bait, dog food, dogs water and absolutely NOTHING intended to sustain an adult human being.
Meanwhile, the dogs need to go outsideā¦and I begin the āwalkā
We got street hookers on the corner.
Somebody arguing three rooms down.
A vehicle that has started and shut off approximately 14 times.
And Iām about 97% sure I just watched a questionable little business transaction take place right beside us.
Now, I donāt know what was sold.
I donāt know what was purchased.
And for $60 a night, I HAVE DECIDED THAT IS BETWEEN THEM, JESUS AND POSSIBLY THE STRANGE CAR PARKED ACCROSS THE ROAD
But bless this manās heartā¦
After completing whatever entrepreneurial endeavor he had going on, he saw me wrangling 4 dogs to get them to go to the toilet, scoop up little bags of poo goodness, all the while trying to carry stuff to my car and politely offered to help with the dogs.
Sir.
That is mighty neighborly.
Should I be concerned?? ššš
āThank you kindly, but I got āem.ā
Because whatever you just bought, sold, swapped, traded or barteredā¦
WE ARE NOT THROWING A STAFFY IN TO SWEETEN THE DEAL.
Then I meet one of the ladies outside.
Her: āHey girl, you want a smoke?ā
Me: āNah, honey, Iām good.ā
Her: āYah win anything today with them dogs?ā
Me: āYeah, we won some ribbons.ā
Her: āHow much money you win?ā
Me: āMoney?! Girlā¦ NOTHING. We actually PAY to do this.ā
She just looks at me.
I look at her.
Then she says:
āWell damnā¦ I just made $50 about ten minutes ago.ā
ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦
Maāam.
YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU WIN. šššš
Because at that exact moment, BOTH of us realized something.
She made $50 in the parking lot.
I spent several hundred dollars, drove thousands of kilometres , slept at Motel Felony, ate baked beans out of a canā¦
AND WON A THREE-DOLLAR RIBBON.
One of us has a successful business model.
AND APPARENTLY IT AINāT ME.
Then she offers me another cigarette like she has officially determined Iām the one going through some things. š
Eventually I make it back in my room.
Deadbolt locked.
Chain latched.
Chair shoved under the doorknob.
I stood back and admired my security system.
Yep. That oughta inconvenience somebody for at least four seconds.
Meanwhile, back at the show grounds, the fancy folks are probably sitting under their awnings eating food that requires SILVERWARE.
And Iām at Motel Felony wearing socks because the carpet feels like it knows things.
But tomorrow morning?
Iām gonna spray this hair into submission, put on a $300 show outfit, grab dogs worth several thousand dollars, drink a cup of instant coffee (the flash NescafĆ© type) and walk into that show like I DIDNāT spend the night making friends with the local economy.
Because some dog-show people have the big rigs, fancy lettering and luxury setups.
The rest of us have baked beans, instant coffee, a $60 motel, a chair under the doorknob, a suspiciously polite parking-lot businessman and a new friend who apparently made more money in ten minutes than I did ALL DAY.
And every last one of us is doing this for the same reason:
To run around in a circle with a dog and hope a stranger points at usā¦
FOR A THREE-DOLLAR RIBBON.
Then weāll drive home broke, exhausted and smelling like hairspray and dog bait while asking the most financially irresponsible question known to dog-show people:
āSoā¦ where are we showing next weekend?ā ššš
*copied, edited and shared - because too good not to
