06/09/2026
SHARING MY PERSONAL JOURNEY WITH MY BEAUTIFUL BOY RAFFERTY ❤️🐴
☆☆ Long Post ☆☆
As some of you may know, my beautiful big boy Rafferty is currently away with his trainers, developing his education.
I think it's important to explain a little bit about how we got to this point.
When I returned to riding in 2025, I had only been riding Rafferty for around six weeks when I had a fall.
And I want to make this very clear — Rafferty did not dump me. It was no fault of his.
I fell because I simply didn't have the stability or control in my own body at that point to deal with what was happening.
Coming back to riding, it became very apparent that there were some significant gaps in Rafferty's basic education. As an off-the-track Thoroughbred, there were things that he simply hadn't been taught, and I was also dealing with the physical limitations left from my traumatic leg injury.
Unfortunately, during that fall I sustained a hairline fracture to my pelvis.
That meant another 12 weeks of rehabilitation and recovery.
As a result, Rafferty's work became very inconsistent. It was stop-start, stop-start, and eventually it became incredibly overwhelming for me to come back and try to work with him.
I didn't have the strength on the ground to confidently hold him or manage him in the way that I needed to, and I was also working in an arena that, to Rafferty, felt like wide-open spaces.
So I had to stop and really reassess the situation.
I think there is an enormous amount of value in understanding your own limitations, understanding what is actually required of you and your horse, and then having the courage to seek out professional help.
For me, it was really important that I found people whose philosophy aligned with mine.
I didn't just want someone to take my horse and show me what they knew.
I wanted to have conversations. I wanted to discuss options and programs. I wanted someone who could look at both Rafferty and me and help us understand what was required to move forward.
For several months now, I have been in discussion with Leila and Mike Lawrence from Equus Nexus. I've followed them for quite some time, and I've had clients send horses to them with amazing results.
I took the time to research, talk to people and really consider who would be the right fit — not only for Rafferty, but for me as his rider.
We made the decision for Rafferty to attend their facility at Anakie, Victoria, where he is currently undergoing not only some much-needed basic education, but also beginning to really hone in on some cues that will hopefully allow me to facilitate movement from my left leg.
And that is something I am incredibly excited about.
Most of you are aware that I have suffered a traumatic leg injury, which has left me without full use and capacity of my left seat bone and hamstrings.
Although my brain tells my leg to activate my abductors or even my calf, I don't have that physical connection between my brain and my leg anymore.
So while I may look relatively normal walking around, it is extremely fatiguing for me to stand for long periods or to sit in the saddle while trying to maintain the correct leg position.
My left leg wants to pull forward because my hamstrings are no longer attached to my seat bone.
I'm now committed to strengthening my left side and my right side equally, and working on rebuilding my own strength and stability.
But what this experience has also brought to light is that it's not just Rafferty who has gaps in his education.
I have to be honest with myself and acknowledge that there are things I now believe were bad advice, bad coaching and bad habits that I've picked up over many years as a rider.
And that's a hard thing to admit.
But I'm learning to look at it differently.
It's not about blame. It's about recognising what needs to change and being prepared to learn something new.
So this isn't just Rafferty's education.
It's mine too.
I'm now learning a completely different way of training this horse, learning different cues and learning how I can communicate with him more effectively within my own physical limitations.
Rafferty has now been with Mike and Leila for three weeks, with another two weeks remaining in this initial block.
He will come home for a period of time, where I will work with him, and then he may return early next year to continue furthering his education.
This will be an ongoing process between Rafferty, myself, Mike and Leila.
Now, Rafferty is 17.
A lot of people might think, “Why would you spend that sort of money on a 17-year-old horse?”
Well, because I believe he is worth it.
Rafferty is a fantastic horse to work with. He just doesn't always know where to put his emotions because of those big gaps in his education.
And I am 57.
This is my last hurrah at having a horse that I may be able to take to Adult Riders, perhaps get graded, perhaps compete — maybe I will, maybe I won't.
But honestly, that's not the most important part for me.
What I really want is for Rafferty to be a happy, calm and confident horse.
I want him to understand what I'm asking of him, and I want to become the best rider I can possibly be for him.
I also want to say something that I believe is absolutely paramount when working with horses:
When you know something isn't going right, get professional help.
Don't be afraid to ask for help.
Find someone with years of experience and a high level of knowledge who can help not only your horse, but you as the rider.
Find someone who will take the time to understand your horse, understand you, and help you both understand the education and the cues you're trying to establish.
Have conversations with different trainers. Discuss your options. Look at different programs. Work out whose philosophy aligns with yours and, importantly, how they teach you.
Because it's not enough for someone to simply train your horse and send them home.
You need to understand what they're doing, why they're doing it, and how you can continue that education yourself.
Don't just go and find someone who wants to show you what they used to know.
Find someone who is prepared to listen, learn, communicate and help you and your horse progress together.
For me, that has been Mike and Leila.
And I owe them both a huge thank you for their encouragement, their support and, most importantly, their knowledge.
This experience has been incredibly eye-opening for me, but it has also been incredibly exciting.
I genuinely feel like Rafferty and I have a new path ahead of us.
The video I'm sharing with this post is of Mike working with Rafferty. I believe this was taken at around the week-and-a-half mark, so Rafferty had only been with Mike for about a week and a half at this point.
We're now into our third week, and he has progressed even further from what you see in this video.
So please, don't give up on your horses just because they're older.
And don't give up on yourself because you think there are things you can no longer do.
Sometimes you just need the right people around you to help you find a different way forward.
And finally, there are three very special people I want to thank.
Felicity Chafer, Kellie Newman and Michelle Greene.
My dear friends, you have been in my corner with this horse from day dot.
You've encouraged me, supported me and believed in Rafferty and me, and I will never forget it.
Thank you. ❤️
I'm incredibly excited to see where this journey takes Rafferty and me.
I hope you enjoy the video. ❤️🐴
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