Tails of Connection

10/22/2026

I need fun in my life. We all probably do.

When I first started TOC, I made a promise to do fun things with Otis for five minutes a day (I’ll tell the longer version of this story another time). At the time, I was working long hours as a consultant and Otis was terrified of the world. I quickly discovered that those five minutes were often the only time that my racing thoughts slowed and my body relaxed. And it didn’t take long for me to see a change in Otis’s behavior out in the world.

I have been craving getting back to what made me fall so in love with this work, so I’ve been doing little training sessions with my dogs again. Otis has a significantly bigger repertoire than Sully because he never ever ever turns down a training session. Sully historically had a lot of other hobbies lol. I’ve been offering her training lately, and she’s been saying yes. So I am doing some basic things!

A chin rest is such a useful skill – it’s helpful in teaching other skills, a great opt in behavior for care, and a great mutually agreeable way for your dog to ask you for things. Plus, it’s very cute.

You can teach this behavior in a million ways, but this is what I did for Sully to have a little less of me all up in her space. It doesn’t have to be a pillow, though. A flat palm or your lap works great too, especially for dogs who are less sensitive to hands or who already love resting their chin on you.

So I am hereby starting the Doing Fun with Dogs Club. I know “having” would be the expected word, but I am doing fun. Anyone else?!

10/21/2026

Behavior isn’t something you install in your dog. It’s maintained. And it’s conditional.

Sully gave me a very clear (and very smelly) reminder of that this week.

It’s easy to assume that because our dogs could do something yesterday, they can do it today. The past is great for predictions, but conditions change, and behavior changes with them.

This post isn’t really about what you should do when your dog doesn’t come when called. That varies by situation and dog. Sometimes the right answer is to go get the leash, regardless of what you have to tromp through. Sometimes it’s to run away. Sometimes it’s to start dropping wildly valuable treats. Sometimes it’s to throw a toy. Sometimes it’s to just wait.

It’s more about how I think about these moments. I don’t panic. It’s just information.

I don’t punish or correct either (by the time I could do anything, I’d be punishing her for coming back). If I want her to pop off a stinky trail when I call her, I need to refresh her reinforcement history for recall and keep getting her more time in nature (her behavior tells me how valuable that is to her). I may need to do some specific, controlled work around scents as a distraction.
For what it’s worth, you can still say “oh you are absolutely NOT getting in my car, you stinky gremlin” when they come back. Just say it in a happy voice with happy body language.

Very curious: what’s the hardest thing to recall your dog away from? What’s their version of human p**p?

10/20/2026

06/19/2026

Jess here.

After spending years around so many incredible dog trainers and dog guardians in this community, I’ve sometimes felt self-conscious about my own dog and my own choices.

When I walk Stanley around DC, there are moments when I wonder if someone who follows TOC saw his reaction to a trigger—or mine.

When I first shared photos of him wearing a harness, I got messages telling me to take it off or buy a different kind. Sometimes those conversations helped me learn. Sometimes they made me second-guess myself.

Lately, though, something has shifted.

Maybe it’s because I’m seeing more dog professionals share the reality of living with dogs—not just the polished moments, but the messy middle too. The popcorn-sharing, bed-hogging, sock-stealing, imperfect, deeply human parts of the relationship.
And honestly? That’s one of the reasons Christie and I started Tails of Connection in the first place.

Not because we thought anyone needed to be a perfect dog guardian.

Because we believe connection matters more than “raising the perfect pup.”

So today I’m curious:
What’s something you do with your dog that isn’t “perfect” but makes you both happy?

No judgment. We’d genuinely love to hear. 👇

06/09/2026

“I’m writing a story of love.”

Jess here. When my mom sat down last week to write about losing our family dog, Humphrey, after 16 years together, that’s how she began her email to me.

What followed wasn’t really a story about death. It was a story about magical companionship during the years after my sister and I left for college, when our grandparents passed away, and when my parents eventually retired.

It was also a story we all know too well: the impossible decision that eventually comes with loving a dog long enough.

Amid that agony are the quiet memories of a little red poodle who waited by the window when she left, traveled to eight National Parks, and became woven into the fabric of everyday life.

If you’ve ever loved a senior dog, this one’s for you. ❤️
Swipe through to read excerpts from Humphrey’s story, and visit the link in our bio for the full essay.

🌈 We’d love to hear about the dog you’ll never stop missing

04/28/2026

There’s so much noise out there about what you should and shouldn’t do with your dog. It can be wildly overwhelming. And if you’re anything like me, you’ve probably made some mistakes along the way.

Over the years, I’ve come back to one guiding question:
Am I honoring this individual as a whole, precious life?

When I don’t like my answer, I’ve noticed I don’t much like how I feel either. We are all connected. And I think when we honor the life around us, it nourishes us too.

I’m grateful to the dogs who have offered me grace — and helped me show up on this planet with a little more humanity.

04/27/2026

“But dogs have to learn from their mistakes!” I hear this a lot when it comes to errorless learning. Let’s talk about it.

There’s no way to live on this planet without making errors — and most of us are resilient enough to handle them if our learning history is filled with successes. But that doesn’t mean we have to 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯 that way.

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗲𝗿𝗿𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴? Arranging conditions so correct responses are likely and mistakes aren’t. When your dog is set up to succeed, reinforcement stays high, frustration stays low, and no “junk behaviors” get rehearsed. Learning actually accelerates.

𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗲𝗿𝗿𝗼𝗿? When the rate of reinforcement drops, things can get rough fast — for your dog AND for you. Ending a session with a frustrated dog and a demoralized person is just the pits. But here’s the thing: that’s usually a procedure problem, not a you problem or a dog problem.

And procedure problems are fixable. That’s what makes this approach so empowering. When you know that changing conditions changes behavior, you get to be creative and proactive about it.

This has nothing to do with “coddling dogs” (though I do feel strongly about comfortable learning conditions for our dogs). This is about taking responsibility for the learning environment – and in doing so, training tends to be more effective, efficient, and humane!

PS — these clips are some recent fun with Otis building skills for movement puzzles from .moving.canine !