10/27/2022
This hits home, I’m so lucky to have had some incredible horses in my time who’ve taught me to be better 💙
To all of the horses I accidentally let down over the years:
Thank you for your patience even though I offered you none from myself.
Thank you for your kindness, even when my kindness towards you was subject to whether or not you listened to my demands.
Thank you for not hurting me, even as I hurt you both unintentionally through inadequate care and more intentionally through how I was taught to train and handle you.
Thank you for your loyalty, though I did not deserve it because I offered you none from myself and gave you little in the way of understanding.
Thank you for weathering the storm that was my care and management so that I could eventually learn to do better by horses and start to make up for what I couldn’t give to you.
I am sorry you had to go through that. I am sorry for the expectations I had of you, when I wasn’t even close to meeting the basic expectations in terms of fair care and treatment to you.
I am sorry for how I hurt you. How I scared you. How I robbed you of any ability to self exercise, interact with other horses and enjoy a good life outside of ridden care.
I am sorry for how I kept many of you in glorified horsey dollhouses, dressing you up in clothes to keep you cozy and warm in your “comfortable” stalls, even though you were anything but comfortable.
I micromanaged you. I controlled your every move. I did it out of good intentions and the belief I was doing the right thing, but it was still wrong.
And, for that, I am sorry.
I am sorry to the horses I let down in my pursuit of becoming a better Equestrian.