09/06/2026
LONG RAW POST WARNING
I wanted to share something that has been weighing on me. I don't usually bring things like this to my kennel page, but after one of my last posts, I feel like some cleaning the air is necessary.
Recently, I have been more open than I normally am about things in my own personal life. This year has beaten the hell out of me. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. Loss upon loss. Difficult decisions had to be made. Changes within my dogs and program that have been far harder on me than anyone looking from the outside could possibly understand.
As difficult as that vulnerability has been, it has also been incredibly eye-opening. You learn a whole lot about people when you're no longer at your best. The breeding and show world is already cutthroat. There is already enough competition, judgment, gossip, jealousy, and negativity as it is. We do not need to add fake friendships to it.
It became pretty darn clear that some people I counted on within this community, people I genuinely considered friends, have made it clear that perhaps that friendship wasn't what I believed it was, and it was not in fact, mutual at all.
And that's a hard pill to swallow.
Especially when these are people you've supported. People you've cheered for. People you've considered friends both inside and outside of dogs.
We spend so much of our time talking about bettering our breeds. About ethics. Integrity. Preservation. Sportsmanship. Mentorship. Doing right by our dogs and the families who trust us.
Maybe we should be putting that same amount of effort into doing right by each other.
You don't have to agree with every decision someone makes. You don't have to love every dog in their program. You don't have to cheer for the same dog in the ring. Supporting people shouldn't only happen when they're winning, producing something you want, helping your program, or doing something that benefits you.
Friendship is not transactional.
People are not disposable.
Don't call someone your friend and then talk behind their backs or treat them like a walking disposable plate the second they're struggling, inconvenient, or no longer useful to you.
This world is already cruel enough.
If you call someone a friend, then BE a friend
Be kind. Be real. Be authentic.
We need more people who genuinely care and celebrate each other's successes, but who are also willing to sit beside one another through the failures, burnouts, heartbreaks, losses, and the ugly parts.
Support your fellow breeders when they're at their highest. But please, be damn sure to support them when they're at their lowest, too.
Support them when:
When they win a title.
When they have a successful whelping.
When they get the dog of their dreams.
When someone loses a dog.
When a breeding doesn't work out.
When they're questioning their program.
When life outside of dogs knocks them flat.
When they're struggling and suddenly aren't the same person you've always known.
That does not mean judging them, telling them what to do, or being a downright as***le if you disagree with them.
Check in on your friends.
Send the damn text.
Ask, “Are you okay?” even if they don't answer right away. They knew you cared.
You never know when someone may desperately need to hear it.
Just make sure that you are also ensuring to be that person for them, too. It is a two way street.
People are human beings. Not stepping stones. Not competition. Not something to use until something better comes along.
If someone you supposedly care about is clearly struggling, maybe don't turn their hardest season into an opportunity for gossip or judgment.
You only know the tiny fraction of their life they've chosen to share publicly.
At the end of the day, how you treated people, and especially how you treated them when they had absolutely nothing to offer you, is what says the most about you.
