09/15/2026
Ha Ha! Well, She. Is. NOT. Wrong!!!
🐩 A Dollop of Doodle…
Welcome back to Cooking with the General Public, where today we’re preparing the most expensive concoction since somebody put gold flakes on a hamburger.
First, take one perfectly good Poodle.
Fold in whatever breed happens to be sitting nearby.
Stir until nobody can predict the coat, size or temperament. Then sprinkle generously with words like designer, exclusive, hypoallergenic and rare.
Finish it off with…
✨ A dollop of Doodle. ✨
That’ll be $4,500 for the puppy, $500 for the word “designer,” and another $750 because it’s rare apricot phantom abstract tuxedo.
Ma’am, that isn’t a dog color. That’s a sweet potato casserole recipe followed by a paint sample from Lowe’s.
Goldendoodle. Bernedoodle. Sheepadoodle. Aussiedoodle. At this point, if a Poodle walks through the kitchen while you’re seasoning the chicken, somebody will announce a litter of rare Cock-a-Doodle-Doos and start accepting nonrefundable deposits before supper.
And the general public is still lined up with a spoon, swallowing this concoction one expensive dollop at a time.
I honestly thought the Doodle craze would eventually burn itself out. Then again, I thought Pokémon would disappear when my son was eight. Here we are 22 years later, still collecting strangely named creatures—except now they cost $5,000, eat the drywall and need groomed every six weeks.
Of course, every serving comes with the same promises:
Non-shedding.
Hypoallergenic.
Perfect temperament.
The best qualities of both breeds.
Well, bless it.
Honey, genetics is not a buffet. You cannot spoon intelligence, temperament and a non-shedding coat onto your plate, then leave the anxiety, barking and grooming needs beside the dinner rolls.
Sometimes the recipe produces the size of a Bernese Mountain Dog, the energy of a Poodle and the common sense of a crockpot.
Six months later, little Sir Winston Fluffernutter is shedding tumbleweeds and has become one solid mat wearing a collar. The groomer takes one look and charges $275, combat pay and a hazardous-materials fee.
But wait—respectable preservation breeders are the problem.
Yes, those awful people studying pedigrees, health testing, proving their dogs, preserving breed type and standing behind what they produce are supposedly the evils filling the shelters.
Meanwhile, someone can mix two breeds, toss in a pinch of fancy advertising, garnish the puppies with eucalyptus blankets and charge enough to require financing.
But well, bless it—apparently the old-fashioned Heinz 57 was never the problem.
It was simply missing professional photographs, a charcuterie-board name and…
✨ A dollop of Doodle. ✨
