06/03/2026
Bella was the only female from her litter, and I wasnโt even supposed to get her.
Someone ended up backing out, and then I was offered her. I remember being absolutely ecstatic. My first golden retriever. I had no idea at the time that she would go on to give me the greatest gift I could ever receive.
Her unconditional love.
Bella has seen so much with me. She has seen rescues come and go, potential breeding dogs that didnโt end up making my program, shelter dogs that needed a soft place to land, and some of the hardest seasons of my life. She has been there through loss after loss. The deaths of dogs I loved. The deaths of immediate family. The kind of grief that changes you forever.
She was there for the full year I refused to get out of bed.
My only sibling was fighting cancer when she got COVID, and it was at the very beginning. Before vaccines. Before protocols. Before anyone really knew what to do. I wasnโt able to see her. I wasnโt able to say goodbye. There was no funeral. No hospice. No end of life visit. No final hug. Just a one way phone call, and then she was gone.
When I say it broke my soul, I mean it.
The one person who had been with me through absolutely everything since birth was just gone. I was lost. What was I supposed to do now? She was supposed to grow old with me. She was supposed to help me bury our parents one day. Instead, we were saying goodbye to her, and then a year later, we were saying goodbye to our father.
Through all of it, Bella never left my side.
She forced me to get up because I knew she needed me. And honestly, I think she knew I needed her just as much. If anyone else, human or dog, tried to come into my room, she would growl and they would leave. She was protecting me in the only way she knew how.
She was my constant. My world. My reason to keep moving when I didnโt know how.
I never intended to breed Bella, so she only had two litters, when she was 4 and 5 years old. Her litters were huge, and I kept several of her babies. I am so glad I did, because they are the absolute sweetest girls. They have so much of her in them. That same gentle heart. That same softness. That same way of making you feel loved without asking for anything in return.
Bella loved being a mother. She was fantastic at it, and even now, she still takes care of her babies. That is just who she is.
This year, Bella turned 7, and Iโm not gonna lie, I cried all day on her birthday. Weโve had scares with bumps and lumps and weird little things, and thankfully weโve been reassured that she is healthy. But I know dogs. I know how fast things can change. I know how easy it is to miss something. And I know that goldens are Godโs greatest gift, but they never stay long enough.
Maybe they are only here for such a short time because they are meant to teach us what unconditional love really is. Maybe they are here to heal the parts of us we thought would stay broken forever.
I swear Bella could have been a therapy dog. Her babies and her parents are some of the gentlest, sweetest animals I have ever known, and you can see it so clearly in everything she has produced.
Iโm excited at the thought of the next generation. My boys are calm, sweet, and confident, and I truly believe this combination is going to make phenomenal puppies.
But more than anything, I am just grateful.
Grateful that someone backed out.
Grateful that Bella ended up mine.
Grateful that the dog I wasnโt supposed to get became the dog who saved me.
