07/28/2025
“Working with Ashley and her mare was an invaluable part of my journey. It gave me a chance to truly experience and appreciate the feel of contact and how it can enhance communication with the horse. Ashley’s guidance reminded me not to stress about performance or misinterpret natural reactions, like head bobbing, as mistakes. She reminded me, “You can’t control that, so stay with them.”
That message deeply resonated with me. Growing up in trauma therapy, I’d often hear the therapist say, “Stay with yourself.” It took years to truly understand what that meant. Through working with horses, especially those carrying trauma, I’ve come to realize it’s about staying present in your body and holding space for healing, both for them and for yourself. Horses, like humans, feel safe when there is calm, clear, and grounded presence.
I’ve always believed that it’s not about blame, there’s no “fault.” If I had to choose a phrase, it would be: “It’s never the horse’s fault.” But even that isn’t quite right. It’s not about fault at all, it’s about a dance, a dialogue, and how well we communicate. Horses thrive when they know what’s expected of them. Confusion breeds stress, and for those of us with trauma histories, that confusion is all too familiar. When expectations shift constantly and boundaries aren’t clear, it can make you question your own reality. In that way, I see myself in the horse. When I'm unclear, I become stressed and self-critical. Horses reflect that back to us.
I truly believe that horses can sense genuine care and intention, something communicated not through words but through the heart. While I always strive to come from a place of love, I’ve learned that love alone isn’t enough. Clarity and consistency are just as vital. I know this rationally, but embodying it can be challenging, especially when old wounds resurface.”
-Marti