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When we brought the horses home in May of 2021, I remember having this feeling of, “YES - now we’re all alone!!” By Nove...
10/13/2026

When we brought the horses home in May of 2021, I remember having this feeling of, “YES - now we’re all alone!!” By November, it was a little more like “oh - now we’re all alone.” I never realized how big of a deal having a small barn community was until I just didn’t have it anymore.

Sometimes the things we wish for are not actually the things that will bring us joy, in the end.

Online connections were the first to come back - little, digital threads linking me to other people near and far. And then I started going out into the world a bit, meeting the people and horses I’d only seen in little squares, on screens. It was only a matter of time before a friend made it here!

Oriana Allen came for a visit today and both horses got to join us for some fun. Cirrus came out for a little groundwork and happily let Oriana have a go - the last time someone who wasn’t me asked him to do something really focused in a training context, about seven years ago, he offered only an “absolutely not.” It was a cool thing for me to sit back and see my best buddy exploring with someone new! We also went walking to the back field with Paloma (thanks for the photo, Oriana!) - the sky was blue and the grass extra tasty when we stopped for a midway snack.

Grateful to no longer be marooned on a lonely, prairie island…today was pretty much a perfect day and we’re all looking forward to doing it again soon 🧡

This morning, I took a tumble off of Cirrus - it was my first fall in six years, the last being on the disastrous mornin...
10/11/2026

This morning, I took a tumble off of Cirrus - it was my first fall in six years, the last being on the disastrous morning of our first trail ride where he bucked me off in a rocky parking lot and took off over the hills. Thankfully, this was not that!

Let me start by saying I am unhurt! I think it was a combination of soft ground and the fact that I’ve been doing a lot of intentional tumbling with Remi lately. When I was in the air, seeing my feet and the sky, my instinct was to tuck and roll - and that’s exactly what played out.

So, what happened?

We were out in our front field and Cirrus picked up his left lead canter. His left lead is not as balanced in ridden work - I could feel it, but also decided to let him carry it forwards because he’d chosen it on his own. Very quickly he picked up speed (perhaps, initially, trying to find his balance) and my body locked down a little, curled inwards, and shifted my weight forwards.

He responded with a FAST deceleration, including a handful of hops - I was with him at first, but at some point I zigged while he zagged. Cue the fall.

Cirrus stood by while I dusted myself off and we started walking back to the round pen - but very deliberately he began placing me in riding position behind his shoulder. I’m not a “get right back on” rider, but today I did make the decision to hop aboard again.

After our previous conversation ending in me becoming airborne, I became cautiously curious - and realized Cirrus was asking me to stop over anticipating with both my mind and body. Oh, I wish I had been able to feel into this before! I think he’s been asking this of me for a long, long time and I just wasn’t hearing it. Three times in a row we were able to lightly pick up and set down the left lead canter.

Now I’m not going to sit here and say I’m glad this happened or that this is what I needed in order to learn this lesson. I’m also not going to make light of it, and write off the event like “this is just part of riding horses” (even if it is). Falling is no joke.

AND-

I did fall.
I did have a lightbulb moment.
I did come away with a better understanding of my horse, and myself.

Message received, buddy 🧡

Notes, post ride:When I get worried, or anticipate that something unexpected might be coming, my whole body (but the low...
10/07/2026

Notes, post ride:

When I get worried, or anticipate that something unexpected might be coming, my whole body (but the lower half especially) gets still, rigid, overly structured. It’s that old pattern that says I have to rely on myself in tight spots - maybe part of my nature, maybe something learned along the way. Probably some of both.

Regardless, I come back to the question : what was the point of doing all of this, these past few years? Giving him a voice and myself a voice and getting to know each other as well as we do? Was it just to say that we did it? Claim some moral superiority over past selves?

No, of course not.

The point was to find a place where we could rely on each other. Lean on each other. Look to each other. In the happy moments, yes, but also (and maybe more so) in the sticky ones. Today this meant one small thought, asking my left hip to unlock and come back into flow - remembering Cirrus has got me. And then no more thinking, no more analyzing, just forwards.

We walked down the drive and towards the road a bit, said hi to the neighbor horse and her llama companion, walked back to our fields. Felt into each other’s questions (are we safe? Can we go on?). Answered those questions. Trotted some big loops, sought release in the movement of it. Cantered up the hill and walked back home. Grazed a bit and hosed the sweat. Grazed some more.

I’m going to try my stirrups up a hole - there’s a little more flexibility in my ankles now and I’m feeling some perching in the moments I seek lightness of my seat. If ever there was a sign, that’s probably it.

10/05/2026

.
I’ve been wondering-
Is wanting more simply an avoidance
Of leaning into the uncomfortable
Process that is making sense of
What I already have?
Or do I, perhaps, hide behind
Gratitude as an excuse to
Still my feet instead of
Making a change that might
Land me on the moon
Or, instead, far from it?

And then I’m called to stop all
This mental swirling and instead
Just look and be in awe.

And in awe I see that the
Heavy choices don’t matter
Quite so much as I thought and
I am, again, reminded that I am
But one small piece in a
Much grander picture.

I spent this past weekend in Pennsylvania helping out while Michelle Knapp taught her second Emotional Horsemanship clin...
09/24/2026

I spent this past weekend in Pennsylvania helping out while Michelle Knapp taught her second Emotional Horsemanship clinic. The location was gorgeous and the horses and humans, though largely new to this work, were curious, open, and generous with sharing their thoughts and connections. I’ve had the good fortune to attend a few of these clinics, now, and I always take away so much in terms of my horsemanship - but I’m also coming away, this time, with some new inspiration in terms of teaching after getting to watch Michelle in action.

There was a question from an auditor towards the end of the clinic asking Michelle to explain Emotional Horsemanship, in her words, in 30 seconds or less. The elevator pitch. Michelle took the question and offered it back to those who had watched and participated. Let them distill the meaning of this work based on how it landed in their minds and bodies. Instant lightbulb moment.

Because how does one define EH? Well, it depends.

For some, its a collection of techniques that help them communicate in non-violent ways with horses. But it can also be the soft landing in community, after years of feeling like the barn weirdo. A place to get back to doing things with horses again. The consolidation and editing of a lifetime of learning or settling into the ways of being around horses that land just-so in someone’s heart space.

It doesn’t actually take much to tell someone what to do or how to think - but it’s absolutely an art form to inspire them to ask, and answer, their own questions ✨

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