11/07/2025
❤️
🐐 GOATS.
They just die.
No warning, no explanation — just “boop, I’m out.”
They really take the “live” out of livestock. 😅
Too much alfalfa? ➡️ Bloat.
Too little alfalfa? ➡️ Malnourished.
Too much feed? ➡️ Urinary calculi.
Too little feed? ➡️ “How dare you starve me.”
Use the wrong wormer when they’re pregnant? ➡️ Abortions.
Use the “safe” wormer instead? ➡️ The worms throw a party because it doesn’t even phase them.
And fences? Oh please.
To a goat, a fence isn’t a boundary — it’s an IQ test.
And they always pass. 🤦♀️
Hot wire? They’ll test it.
Field fence? They’ll climb it.
Cattle panel? “Challenge accepted.”
If there’s a way out, they’ll find it — and if there’s not, they’ll make one.
Toys? Oh, you mean hazards.
“Let me just stick my leg in that bucket real quick.”
“Oh look, a hay feeder — perfect for getting my horn stuck right before feeding time.”
Water trough? Great place to stand in with my poop-covered hooves. 🙃
And then there’s the babies.
Might have one. Might have five.
But she’s only feeding two — and it’s never the ones you want her to.
Bottle babies? Congrats! You’ve just gained a screaming, milk-drunk toddler that will follow you everywhere and cry like it’s being murdered every time you walk by. 🍼
They’ll climb on your car, chew your hair, eat your feed scoop, and somehow escape the most secure pen known to mankind just to stand on your porch and yell at you through the window.
But then… they nuzzle your hand, wag their little tails, and look at you with those big square eyes — and somehow you forget everything they just did. 💕
Because goat people are just built different.
We love these tiny chaos machines, no matter how many times they make us question every life choice that led to owning them.
