12/06/2024
My life ended on Oct. 17, 2024. My perfect beautiful daughter passed away. So now I’m simply existing, and I don’t want to be, I want to go wherever my baby girl is. She was my world, way beyond a mother and daughter, we could communicate without ever saying a word. We were always together. Everything she did was perfect. She was gorgeous and brilliant and she loved animals and was the best at her job. I truly don’t know how to live without her. I don’t understand why god came and took my perfect child from me, and what more I don’t know how to quit hating god for it. So nowi don’t have a relationship with him anymore, he killed it the same day he killed my baby girl. I don’t fu***ng understand him he lets people who shouldn’t live go on but not my perfect Mandi.
Some family member showed who I thought was there for me in my time of need at the time that I thought of killing myself every second of every day, but instead of helping me it was what I could do for her, cook dinner, and left me to go somewhere else, and just kept saying you can’t be like this you have to keep it together and on and on just spewing the same bu****it, it took everything I had not to fu***ng punch her. We got into an argument , I can’t remember what the f**k about, but when I said I don’t know and said her full name I wasn’t even screaming she packed her bags and left for the past 4 days of her trip. Now she wants me to forget all about what she did to my daughters memory and the way she treated me over going out to honor my perfect daughter, I will never forget it or forgive her. She bad mouthed my daughter every other day for the past 18 years , criticizing her for everything , especially how she mothered her two kids, and this is the kicker this came from her who was never a mother to her own child, so no I don’t want to talk to her, I don’t know if I ever will b able to forgive her or God and neither one of them has said they were sorry. The most blessed thing is Mandi left me her beautiful daughter to raise so I’m gonna try my damndest to do a good job, because I love my Mandi more than I can put into words and I love my granddaughter just as much, but the pain is there every second of every day, that gut wrenching , skin crawling pain😭😭😭😭😭
