10/13/2026
Do you listen when your horse says, no?
Would you want to?
Last week, I had a wonderful conversation with Mary Miller Jordan of I AM HERD Mustang Sanctuary about her upcoming Celebration of the Horse-Human Relationship.
One thing we both believe deeply is that humans need to become better listeners of the horse.
Why don't people want to listen?
We're afraid of what our horses might say.
Because when our horse says "no," those pesky brain gremlins start whispering:
👹 "My horse doesn't like me."
👹 "My horse doesn't want to be ridden."
👹 "My horse is never going to do what I want."
And suddenly, one little moment of hesitation becomes a threat to everything we've dreamed of doing with our horse.
But a "no" right now doesn't mean "no" forever.
It doesn't mean your horse doesn't love you, doesn't trust you, or will never willingly participate in the things you want to do together. It means there's something worth getting curious about.
Maybe they're uncomfortable.
Maybe they're confused.
Maybe they need a little more time.
Or maybe you simply need to ask differently.
And yes, listening might take a few extra minutes TODAY.
But how much time, frustration, and effort might it save you tomorrow?
So, of course this week's experiment is about listening!
🧪 10-Minute Tuesday: Hearing the NO
This week's experiment is about noticing the little things your horse might be telling you that you've been overlooking.
Here's how to play:
Approach your horse while they're loose or wearing a halter. No cross ties for this one! We want them to have the freedom to move their head and neck.
Walk slowly around toward their right side.
Does their head follow you?
Do they keep looking straight ahead?
What happens when you approach the left side?
Is there a difference?
If your horse turns their head and neck in front of you as you approach, consider whether they might be trying to block your movement.
Don't automatically correct them or push past.
Instead, STOP.
Wait.
Maybe take a step or two back.
Watch their expression, especially their eyes.
Do they soften?
Does their head return to a neutral position?
What happens when you approach again?
Can you find the moment your horse goes from "I'm not sure about this" to "Okay, I'm comfortable with that"?
Make it a game!
Experiment with your timing, your body language, your approach, and the space you give your horse. Remember, a head movement isn't automatically a "no." Context matters! We're looking for patterns, not trying to assign a meaning to every twitch of an ear.
You can play this same game with a halter, fly mask, grooming brush, saddle pad, or anything else you routinely do with your horse.
The goal isn't to get your horse to say YES.
The goal is to become someone who notices when they're saying NO.
The difference between resistance and willingness isn't a better training technique, it's better communication.
When we start paying attention to those quiet conversations, we start discovering what our horses have been telling us what they need all along.
🎧 This idea is also at the heart of my recent conversation with Mary Miller Jordan about her horse-first approach and the Celebration of the Horse-Human Relationship.
💬 Now I'm curious: Have you ever realized your horse was quietly telling you "no" to something you'd been doing automatically for years?
Tell me about it! 👇
And if those brain gremlins start telling you that listening means giving up your dreams, send them off to muck a stall. We've got better things to do. 😉🐴
