Milly Paton Horsecraft

24/10/2026

You've seen the group coaching programs promising to keep you on track over the winter months through holding you to account for sticking to your goals.

Accountability has it's place, if it's delivered in the right way, and it's actually what you need.

If your intrinsic motivation is there, the program fosters a culture of kindness, and your in a good headspace, then it might be the right thing for you.

However, if the thought of sticking to your 5-times-a-week-pole-work-plan is filling you with dread, your mood is low, or you're struggling in another way, being held to account isn't actually what you need.

What you actually need is support. Someone to help you understand and learn to manage the things standing in your way, and someone to help you find the joy and the fun in spending time with your horses again.

My November diary is now open, with a few remaining spaces for both online and in-person sessions.

If this sounds like the kind of coaching you need this winter, I'm here to help!
🩷🩷🩷

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Work with me:
🌍Live online training: Worldwide
📍In person: Hampshire, South Wilts, East Dorset
💻Free Behaviour, Training and Rehab Assessment Calls available

23/10/2026

As we head into winter, the concept of being motivation and sustaining motivation through the dark and wet months starts to rear it's ugly head.

Motivation generally falls into two camps: intrinsic and extrinsic.

Extrinsic motivation involves things like being paid a salary, which can be useful for repetitive & boring tasks (although this can have an expiration date). It also involves competition scores and affirmations from others. This is problematic as hard work doesn't always equal a good competition result, and you can't rely on other people to always say the right thing at the right time! This can damage self esteem, mental health and eventually kill our motivation.

Intrinsic motivation is the thing that lights us up from the inside - doing things just because we love it. It is heavily associated with stronger outcomes, but is also protective to your mental health and promotes wellbeing.

As the daylight fades, rather than beating yourself up for not sticking to the same schedule as you maintained over the summer, try tapping into your intrinsic motivation and what brings you joy over the winter - and remember it's okay if that changes from winter to summer!

Your toes might be too cold to ride, but the idea of getting warm doing some long reining might sound fun. Or you might like to just sink your fingers into your horse's warm winter coat and enjoy the moment.

If we keep using extrinsic things to boost our motivation, it'll run out eventually and you wont make it through the winter.

If you rely on the things that are genuinely bringing you joy, you'll be much more consistent with your horse over the winter, and come out of the season feeling more positive about what you did do, rather than beating yourself up for what you didn't do!

Keep your eyes peeled for motivation part 2 tomorrow - the role of accountability.

Need some help finding the joy in your training with your horse? My DMs are open.

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Work with me:
🌍Live online training: Worldwide
📍In person: Hampshire, South Wilts, East Dorset
💻Free Behaviour, Training and Rehab Assessment Calls available

winter

22/10/2026

These are the very wise words from a lesson today with one of the several incredible young people I work with.

Heading into a new exercise, this amazing young person asked me how to navigate an obstacle in a corner. She gave me two options she could see and asked which she should choose. I said to pick whichever is easier for her pony.

She then took a big wide turn to get around the obstacle, stating that her older pony can find tighter turns uncomfortable. I congratulated her for making such a considerate decision, and the above is what she said in response.

It's heartwarming to see how kind, compassionate and skillful the next generation of horse-people are becoming. It gives me so much hope for the future of the industry.

This young person is only 12, and whilst there are a lot of adults out there that could do with a dose of her wisdom, it makes me feel like the tide will turn and I can't wait to see what these young people go on to achieve.
🩷🩷🩷

I don't just work with adults, if you have a young person who's interested in learning more about positive reinforcement training then I'd love to support them on the journey!

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Work with me:
🌍Live online training: Worldwide
📍In person: Hampshire, South Wilts, East Dorset
💻Free Behaviour, Training and Rehab Assessment Calls available

18/10/2026

Are energy, breathwork and intention actually science or just woo-woo nonsense? 👀

I don't rely on magic for my training, coaching, massage therapy or rehab, it's nothing but 100% biology around here.

When I approach a new horse and human and read their energy, I'm not tuning into an invisible mystical aura. My brain is using a highly sophisticated network of mirror neurons, that over the years I have worked hard to hone the ability to tap in and out of this system to understand what horses and humans are feeling.

When I'm doing bodywork and I feel a horse is holding emotional tension, this is as real as physical tension. Being stuck in fight or flight causes soft tissues to lock up through a process called thixotropic gelation, so you can feel the physical impact of the horse's emotional state. And my sensitive hands can pick up the quiet electrical current created in the fascia as this state is releasing, which lets me know long before you can see it on the horse that things are starting to shift. This "energy" is real, even though you might not be able to see it.

The key thing that often gets left out of horse training, is that we can perpetuate these cycles of feeling mentally and physically stuck in our horses because our way of being around them is actually emitting stress and threat signals.

Shallow breathing, muscle tension, and rushing through things (amongst other things) can be interpreted by our horses as sentinel warnings. This is not a problem we can train away, but focusing on things like breathwork and intention, we can ensure our horse reads us in the way we had hoped.

This is why my sessions don't start with training. They start with co-regulation. I'm not training horses in a vacuum, I want to support the development of functional and positive partnerships using techniques underpinned by neuroscience and biology.

If we want true physical softness and a genuine connection, it starts with sharing the same breath.

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Work with me:
🌍Live online training: Worldwide
📍In person: Hampshire, South Wilts, East Dorset
💻Free Behaviour, Training and Rehab Assessment Calls available

17/10/2026

The Relationship Reboot might be over, but participants left with the skills and knowledge to change their relationships with their horses forever.

Christa Culbert and I loved every second of this program, and it was such a privilege watching some utterly incredible transformations in people's thinking, approaches and insight into their horses, their behaviour and their relationships.

The biggest achievement was hearing how these changes have resulted in participants realising they don't have to use punishment or force to realise their goals with their horses. We've heard how participants no longer use punishment in response to biting and other communication, no longer need to use excessive pressure when leading to force compliance, and using emotional regulation skills when presented with challenges instead of lashing out emotionally towards their horses.

Relationships are something that always need work and we always have more to learn where horses are concerned, but it was an absolute pleasure to support these amazing participants along their journey.

13/10/2026

If you missed this amazing event, the recording is now available to purchase!

ON-DEMAND. A one-day online event featuring presentations and discussions from Understand Horses Certified Equine Trainers. Seven hours of learning, inspiration, and practical insight.

10/10/2026

If you need support with your mental health, please make sure you get the help and support you need.

If it is an emergency and you feel unable to keep yourself safe, call 999 or 111, or take yourself to A&E. You can also call Samaritans if you need support urgently.

If it's not an emergency, you can speak to your GP or refer yourself online to your local NHS Talking Therapies service.

If you're not sure where to go or how to get help, there are lots of great organisations who can help you. Riders Minds is a great charity specifically for equestrians, but there's also Mind, Rethink Mental Illness and Campaign Against Living Miserably who are national charities offering support to all.

Above all else, make sure you speak to someone. Whether it's friends, family, a medical professional or a support line, just make sure you reach out.

Things will get better, they will improve, even if you can't see it right now.

09/10/2026

Two halters, one horse, no lead rope 🫣

Also too tired to go back for the lead rope, thank goodness Harold is an angel 😇

08/10/2026

Aggression is not a training problem.

I've had a couple of messages this week from people asking for training advice for aggressive horses, so I just wanted to share my thoughts on this in case it helps others out there.

We can shut down aggressive behaviour with training. But personally I don't think this is ethical or safe.

Just because a horse is no longer showing overt signs of their distress, it does not mean they aren't distressed. Suppressing behaviour also runs the risk that any future aggressive outbursts from your horse will be without warning, which is so much more dangerous.

When it comes to any behavioural issue, to resolve it we need to fully understand the trigger for the behaviour, and also the function the behaviour serves to the horse.

For example, does the behaviour seek to create space, to make something stop, to escape a specific situation or stimuli, attracting attention or to access resources?

Identifying triggers and functions can be sometimes difficult. It is important to observe your horse objectively, initially without interpreting, and collect a large volume of data points so that the patterns can begin to emerge.

Once cause and function are identified, the right approaches can be used to really help your horse and resolve the problem fully.

If your horse is showing signs of aggression, make sure you reach out to a suitably qualified equine behaviour professional.

05/10/2026

Are you looking for a simple way to improve your horse's day?

If you're at a livery yard, it can be really difficult to provide the exact environment you want for your horse..... But that doesn't mean there aren't lots of things you can do to improve the quality of their environment.

One of the easiest things to do is to change the way you put their hay out.

Horses don't naturally stand still to eat, so spread your hay out in lots of small piles. This provides movement opportunities that are physically better for your horse, as well as being mentally better as it's closer to natural grazing behaviours.

To step it up a gear, get creative with where you put the piles. Hang it in hedges at varying heights (no haynets, just loose hay), put it behind trees, under bushes, in different places every day, so your horse has to hunt and search for their hay. This creates a very basic enrichment activity, but will improve your horse's day and again create more movement opportunities and different ways for your horse to use their body as they search.

If you have a resource guarder in your field, having lots of hay in lots of locations takes the heat out of the situation and reduces conflict as well.

Basically, there's no downsides! So.... what are you waiting for?

P.s. yes I know Spark is filthy, his fly mask was brushed off, this is a daily occurrence 😂

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Work with me:
🌍Live online training: Worldwide
📍In person: Hampshire, South Wilts, East Dorset
💻Free Behaviour, Training and Rehab Assessment Calls available