18/07/2026
Dear Human, I’m Not Trying to Be Difficult
What Behavioural Problems Look Like From the Dog’s Perspective
Dear Human,
Can I tell you a secret?
I’m not trying to annoy you.
I’m not plotting against you.
I’m not trying to dominate you.
I’m not trying to take over your house, steal your sofa, or become the leader of a canine uprising.
Honestly, I haven’t got the time.
I’m too busy trying to figure out what on earth you want from me.
You see, from where I’m standing, life can be incredibly confusing.
One day something is allowed.
The next day it’s not.
One member of the family says yes.
Another says no.
Sometimes I get rewarded for a behaviour.
Other times I get told off for doing exactly the same thing.
And then everyone wonders why I seem confused.
You Keep Changing the Rules
Last week you laughed when I jumped up.
You told me I was cute.
You stroked me.
You spoke to me.
You gave me attention.
Today I did exactly the same thing.
Now you’re angry.
Apparently I’m badly behaved.
But from my perspective, nothing changed.
I simply repeated a behaviour that worked before.
I don’t understand why the rules changed.
Sometimes You Accidentally Teach Me Things
Remember when I barked at you?
You looked at me.
Spoke to me.
Walked over to me.
Sometimes you even gave me a treat.
What did I learn?
Barking works.
Then a few months later you tell everyone I have a barking problem.
From my point of view, I have a barking success story.
You trained it.
I just practised it.
Sometimes You Don’t Give Me a Job
This is especially difficult if I’m a working breed.
You created me to do things.
To search.
To hunt.
To herd.
To retrieve.
To track.
To solve problems.
To use my nose.
To use my brain.
Then you ask me to spend most of my day doing absolutely none of those things.
Imagine buying a race car and never driving it.
Imagine owning a piano and never touching the keys.
Imagine being an athlete and never exercising.
Eventually something has to give.
So I create my own activities.
I dig.
I bark.
I chase.
I chew.
I patrol the fence.
I investigate every movement outside the window.
Then you call these behavioural problems.
To me, they were hobbies.
Sometimes I Have Too Much Responsibility
This one is exhausting.
You tell everyone you love me like family.
But then you expect me to make decisions I shouldn’t have to make.
You expect me to decide who is safe.
Who is dangerous.
Who is allowed near the house.
Who can approach you.
What noises matter.
What noises don’t.
When to be alert.
When to relax.
I don’t have your life experience.
I don’t understand the world like you do.
When nobody is leading, I start trying to manage things myself.
And trust me…
That becomes stressful.
Fast.
Many dogs labelled reactive, protective, or controlling are simply carrying responsibilities they were never meant to carry.
Sometimes You Mistake My Fear For Stubbornness
When I refuse to move forward, perhaps I’m scared.
When I bark, perhaps I’m worried.
When I growl, perhaps I’m uncomfortable.
When I avoid something, perhaps I don’t understand it.
Not every unwanted behaviour is defiance.
Sometimes it’s uncertainty.
Sometimes it’s anxiety.
Sometimes it’s confusion.
Sometimes it’s simply information.
My behaviour is often telling you how I feel.
Sometimes You Protect Me From Everything
I know you love me.
I really do.
But occasionally your kindness creates another problem.
Every time I become nervous, you rush in to rescue me.
Every time life becomes difficult, you remove the challenge.
Every time I become uncomfortable, you try to make the feeling disappear immediately.
The trouble is that I never learn how to cope.
I never discover that I can handle difficult situations.
I never build confidence.
I never develop resilience.
Confidence isn’t built by avoiding every challenge.
It’s built by overcoming them.
What I Need From You
I don’t need perfection.
I don’t need you to be a professional dog trainer.
I don’t need expensive equipment.
I don’t need endless treats.
I need clarity.
I need consistency.
I need guidance.
I need structure.
I need opportunities to be a dog.
I need my instincts fulfilled.
I need someone who helps me understand the world.
Most importantly, I need someone who is fair.
A Final Thought
The next time you find yourself saying:
“My dog has behavioural problems.”
Pause for a moment.
Ask yourself:
“Have I clearly taught the behaviour I want?”
“Am I being consistent?”
“Am I meeting my dog’s needs?”
“Am I providing guidance?”
Because many of the behaviours you dislike are not signs of a bad dog.
They are signs of a confused dog.
A frustrated dog.
An under-fulfilled dog.
Or sometimes simply a dog doing exactly what its human has accidentally taught it to do.
I am not trying to be difficult.
I am trying to make sense of the world you’ve given me.
Help me understand it, and you’ll often discover that the behavioural problem was never really me at all.
Your Dog
