08/01/2026
Watching Dan head out to do chores without me this morning it finally hit me why I struggle to let go of the farm stuff as I shift into being home with the kids more. I mean I mostly knew but a better word for it came to mind. I have a fear of missing out. So simple and I knew that but it felt like a missing puzzle peice to me finally naming it and letting it go.
The farm and animals have always been my safe haven, the place I run to when life hurt too much. God met me there more times than I ever realized. But instead of seeing the gift the aniamls gave me I turned them into an idiol. They were my peace, happiness, safety.
Ive seen God show me that over the last couple years and He's gently guided me and reminded me that He is the ultimate one who offers those things.
So though I have to be in the house a little longer this morning, I take comfort that I am able to be here offering my young boy the comfort he needs. And reminding myself it is a blessing I get to be fully here for him and that in FACT I am not stuck here. It does hurt seeing the default ways my brain views motherhood, but I am so very grateful for all these steps to learning to love it and rely on my Father above π₯°